Designer Mutts
 

I am getting two Shorkies, not only for me, but also one for a friend, and I have some issues. First, she has more money than I do, but also a husband to help pay her bills. She says she only wants to pay 125 of the 400 dollars I will have to plunk down for these little babies. As you know, Toto is older and in pain sometimes and the pain is hard to control. I've gotten his knees unlocked, after lasers, but right now they are locked again and I've got a choice. Do all the work again, or have him PTS. I am thinking about that. Number one, the treatments are temporary, number two, he's old, blind, and deaf. He has also developed that Doggie Alzheimers, so at midnight, he wakes up and walks around the house, and keeps me awake. So I know that no matter what happens, the sun is setting on his doggie life! The point about Toto, is that I have some whopping medical bills coming up with him, and I am feeling regretful and resentful that I told her I might give her one for 125. I am afraid if I don't, she's going to be hurt or upset.

I've been a virtual recluse for the last five years as I've lived in new towns where I know no one, had a few injuries that left me in DUAL fracture boots, and have just generally been at home alone for much of the time. My ability to get online or the phone and call my mom, or my few phone friends has kept me going. When you are socially isolated like me, you often find that your friends, are also somewhat socially isolated. So, we do call each other every day to chat.

I am just starting to get out, and try to get on with my life again. It's really hard. I don't want to lose a friend over this! How would you say that you need her to pay the 200 dollars? I have BTW, made a firm commitment to purchase. I'm getting the dogs THREE whole days before the owner (byb, by accident) moves to another state.

I have pics of them from a cell phone, but I can't figure out how to upload them on email, it's a small Nokia 6350 and I can't seem to get the photos on my yahoo accounts. So, no pics until they come home!

Callie

I'm sorry, but if this 'friend' knows your situation, and knows the actual cost of the doggies, and has only offered to pay $125.00, It really doesn't sound like she is much of a friend, and I'm sure you could do better. Sweet that you are worried about hurting her feelings....

I would just explain that you cannot cover the $75.00 additional for her to have one of the dogs, and if she is serious about owning one, she'll need to pay you the whole $200.00. Again, that is a statement of fact, and nothing in that statement should cause her to have hurt feelings. You told her you 'might' be able to let her have one for $125.00, but after reviewing your finances, you have realizied that you really can't afford to do that. A true friend would understand completely.

If your friend is only offering to pay a fraction of the cost of the dogs, I'd tell her "no thanks". $275 is a lot for her to overlook. Did she know the cost of the dogs upfront and then back out of the deal?

First, I am so sorry to hear about Toto. I hope he finds peace soon.

Second, I would suggest you finish all business with him before taking on additional responsibility of two new puppies. I also don't understand how someonw can sell you two puppies and then you are able to turn around and sell one. I also doubt this breeder is actually moving to a new state. BYB's use this excuse to sale quickly and cheap because they know buyers will not follow up with them. It's a con by too many BYB's and Brokers.

Third, your friend should deal with purchasing her own puppy herself. No reputable breeder would sell their puppies like this. It shows they do not care about the welfare of their dogs future. I'm not saying you'd be a bad puppy mom, I am saying that this breeder is a bad breeder and if they will sell like this, they probably aren't breeding very healthy puppies to begin with.

I do wish you would think about this and consider that if you haven't put a deposit down you still have the option to back out and wait until you have a more relaxed situation to bring a new puppy in. And you can find a better breeder who is not pressuring you with the con game of them moving as well.

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

I'm pretty sure it's not a con game! The man has two unspayed dogs and they are young! So, now he has a litter of puppies. About my friend, well, it's possible that she will back out. So I will have two little ones. BTW, I am used to dealing with more than one dog at a time. Toto, for all his sweet heart, really is only a pest when it's time to go to bed. Then he wants to stay up and roam the house. And about the friend, she was getting one and I was getting one.

I am looking forward to the babies: coming May 3rd!

Callie and Toto

Fantastic and spot on advice!!
 

Great advice Cerise!!!:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

Okay, I'm confused :confused: if things are this simple and you are now this confident about your situation, your friend, and the person selling the puppies, what was the purpose of your first post?

The thesis was at the end of the third paragraph: how do I tell my friend that she has to pay half or she does not get a dog?

Callie

If the other issues don't matter, then:

Again, your friend should deal with purchasing her own puppy herself.

Tell her straight out. If she were buying directly from the breeder, he wouldn't let it go for $275 less than the agreed upon price.

It's unfair of your "friend" to expect you to pay the difference.

I agree. You need to just tell her that if she wants one she needs to pay half.

Since your friend doesn't want to give 200 for hers, did you ask the guy if he'd come down on his price? It is an accidental litter after all, and he's moving so he's in a hurry to move them, right? If he won't, just tell your friend the guy won't budge on his price. If it is the price he set, not you, how can your friend expect you to pay her extra $75.00? You can always get just one puppy for yourself, and have your friend contact the seller as Cerise suggested. If you are set on keeping your word with the guy and taking two puppies at the agreed price, and reselling to your friend, then that is a decision only you can make in regards to how much you need for the puppy.

When making plans with my friends we always factor in our "share" (normally half).
I am planning a trip to Puerto Rico with my friend D and she told me she could not go becuase she could not pay her share. Being her friend and in a better situation than D, I am going to help her out. What are friends for?

I could say that my money is more important and find somone else to go with, but I want to and CAN help her, and I want to go with D!

So I guess my advise is to not let money ruin a friendship, you can say "no" I simply cant pay for more than my share.

If I couldnt help D, I wouldnt and she would not be upset with me. We would figure out something else to do, beach towels on my living room floor while blasting the heat and drinking homemade pina coolatas sound just as good to me, just as long as my D is with me.

If she cant afford to pay that small differance in price, I hardly feel she could aford to care for it. As you know, there is more to simply paying for the dog. One you bring it home, thats when they start to really cost you ;) Why do you even need to get both? cant you just get the one dog for yourself?

Just remember its ok to say "no". A real friend would understand.

She is not a friend if she doesn't understand, plain and simple.
I also think if she can't pay the full amount then she can't afford the vet bills that come with getting a pup. There is no contract between you and the byb so you can just get yourself the pup and have her work out the details with him.
I wouldn't stress the situation, if you need new friends go to church, bars or whatever your preference in socializing. I wouldn't want anyone taking advantage of me.

And I'm very sorry to hear about Toto.

It sounds like she may have not thought this thing through all the way. If your friend cannot afford the 200$ How is she going to afford to have the baby spayed or neutered, as well as all of the shots it will need.!

it doesn't sound like her being able afford the puppy is the issue here. you said that she makes more money than you do and has a husband to help her, so it sounds like you think she can afford the puppy for $200 plus any vet bills that may come up.

my suggestion is that you consider how you will FEEL if she doesn't pay the additional $75. would you pay it without a thought if you could afford it?? of course ... but you've indicated to us that you cannot afford it ... so, i like one of the first poster's way of putting it, which was something about you taking a look at your budget/finances and you realized you were not able to afford the extra $75 for her share, so it would really help you out if she could pay it....

now, i will also say that this is dependent on you never actually agreeing to pay the $275 while she paid $125. if you already agreed, then you need to take another route that indicates you know you told her you would pay it, but circumstances have changed and you need her help. putting it in a way that she is helping you out will probably be taken better than a "gimme my dayum money" stance lol....

but before doing any of that, you may want to consider how this friend has handled you in the past regarding money and other things. has she generally been selfish with you? generous? there for you in a pinch? loyal? kind? the answers to these types of questions may determine a lot about the quality of the friendship and how far you want to go to not lose the friendship. because if she IS a good friend, both of you will realize that it's not worth losing or damaging over $75.

sorry for the long post. best of luck to you.

I'm very sorry to hear about Toto. I know that your heart will lead you to the right decision about what to do.

As far as your friend goes, I would feel the same way. It's not fair to you to pay for more than your fair share. It sounds like she may be hestitant about getting this dog...so I hope that if she does take it, she is ready for the responsiblity.

I would just suggest being honest with her. Just tell her that if she is committed to getting one of the dogs, that you are not comfortable paying for more than half and that you hope she understands. Hopefully, she will. :)

Also, do you know why she only wants to pay $125? If its not financial, I wonder if she has another reason. If that is the case, maybe you can talk it over and address her underlying concern.

Good luck!

I agree with everyone here - she needs to pay the full $200, or she shouldn't get a puppy. Honestly, if she's a true friend, with your explanation she shouldn't have an issue at all. She has a double income household, whereas you are alone. It sounds like she's not hurting for cash, and if she is, she shouldn't be buying a puppy anyways. I wish you the best of luck with everything, I hope it turns out well, and I hope to see some pictures up here soon after you get them!

I left her a vmail a day or two ago and she has not returned my calls, nor has she picked up the phone. She has done this previously, actually. Because I gave My Word to the guy I'd take two puppies, I have to get them both on May 3rd.

Callie

your word? or written word? if it was just verbal, there's no binding contract, no proof that you said you would. If you do want 2, on the other hand...then enjoy your two puppies!