Please help - facing the hardest decision of my life
 

This is going to be long, so please bare with me as I'm typing with tears and a heavy heart.

I'm a flight attendant who is usually gone about half the month, so JoJo stays with family while I'm gone. The days I'm home he is glued to me 24/7. He loves me with all his heart and I love him 1,000 times more. When I first got him it was with the understanding that the days I was gone he would be looked after by my boyfriend whom I lived with, but we are no longer together. It's not easy being a single girl with this career and having a young dog, but I make it work.

In the past year or so, tons of changes have been happening at my job due to a merger of 2 major airlines (mine being the one acquired), and we could possibly lose our union representation. There is rumor that should we lose our union, many of us may lose our jobs. Because of this, after a long and hard consideration, I decided to go back to school so that I'll have an education to fall back on to pursue other avenues, if I needed to.

At first I was excited by the thought of going to school, and even decided to pursue a degree in nursing. As I was happily applying for financial aid, and excitedly applying for enrollment, it suddenly hit me. What's going to happen to JoJo while I'm away from home 1/2 the month for work AND going to school full-time? I can't believe it never occured to me before. I was too caught up in myself to think about his well-being and care. I know many people do it with a dog, but what does that do to their quality of life? It's not fair to them...nor would it be to JoJo.

I can't believe my fingers are going to type this next sentence... But I'm now facing the most agonizing decision of giving my beloved JoJo away. It's hard to convey emotion via writing, but I am crying so hard right now it's hard to see straight. I love him with all my heart and all my soul. I don't have children yet, so he IS my baby. I kiss him over 100 times a day. I don't think an hour goes by that I don't tell him I love him. My heart aches when I don't see him for a couple days...heck, even a short run to the grocery store makes me miss him. So how would I ever EVER be able to give him away?? If I don't pursue my education, I could very well end up unemployed and broke and still be forced to give him up due to not being able to care for him financially.

I'm so torn, agonized, distraught...and my heart is aching more than it's ever ached before. People tell me he's just a dog...I don't care...I love him more than anything in this world!! I keep praying to God to please help me make this decision and take some of this pain from my heart. I just don't know what to do! I'm feeling so incredibly guilty...guilty for taking this little guy into my heart and forcing myself into his...only to possibly rip myself from him and making him feel like I don't love him anymore. He is only 1 1/2 years old...he's still a baby. Oh God, I can't stop crying.

What I do know, however, is that I feel this site is a blessing for me. Although I don't know what to do or how I'm going to do it, I do know one thing: Many of the people on this site are incredibly amazing. I've never seen such love for one's pets as much as I see here. Before I found YT, I wouldn't have been able to tell the difference between someone from here with a good reputation looking for a Yorkie and some random person looking for one on Craigslist. Nor would I have considered what type of care or environment a person could give a dog as much as I would today. With that being said...

If I come to the decision of rehoming JoJo (I had to pause after typing that out...I'm just a wreck right now), I would like him to go to a YT member. I would like for him to keep his name, and I would like this person to keep me updated on him forever. But above all, I would require he goes to a loving, caring forever home where he would thrive and never be sad. I would not be looking for any rehoming fees, or costs of any sort...I would only require he goes to a GOOD home...and ONLY to a reputable member here. Would my requests be reasonable? Would I be asking too much? I don't know much of anything right now, I only know my heart is breaking in a million pieces and I'm so torn and hurting so much.

I hope this post is not inappropriate in any way...I just need help deciding and determining what's best - not for me, but for JoJo. Keeping him would keep this joy that he brings me in my heart, but it would also mean a diminished quality of life for him if I enroll in school, and I just cannot do that to him. It wouldn't be fair to him!

I'm begging for help...advice...anything. Please!

I can tell how difficult this is for you and and I am sorry you are having to make this decision. Is your family not willing to help you (long term) until you have more certanties about school or your job?

Some ideas would be to give him to a retired couple who don't travel and just want the companionship of JoJo but can't afford a Yorkie right now. Another would be with family that know how you feel about him and could give him the care you'd like to give. This would let you see him every so often, too.

DO NOT give him to anyone in a CG ad. He might be sold 10 minutes after they got him. DO NOT give him to an older person who might not outlive him. One trauma is enough.

I have a daughter, 26, who is in nursing and also works as a CNA at a hospital. She's gone 14 hours at a time on work days and then most of the day with classes or study sessions with other girls in the class. There is just no time for a Yorkie, or even a hamster. So I completely understand where you are sitting right now. That's why I have Reesie with me and when nursing classes are finished I dare my daughter to try to take her back.:p

Thank you Cha Cha. My family adores JoJo, but unfortunately no one is in the position of taking him full-time. My dad did for a couple months while I was in the process of moving, but it was really hard on him as he's older and sick. Outside of my immediate family, others in my family aren't "dog" people.

JoJo has been especially clingy to me this morning. I really hope he can't sense the pain in my heart. :(

Jojo is adorable and I am sure a bundle of joy. You said your family has been kind enough to take care of him while you are away. Is there anyway they would be able to extend their care-taking if you should decide to go back to school? How about offering them financial assistance while you're in school (if possible) and then that way when you are done with school, you can get him back.

Years ago, when I first got my stray kitten, I lived in a apartment that didn't allow pets. I was faced with the agonizing decision of having to give her away. But I couldn't do it. I was in the process of looking for another apartment because I couldn't give my cat away. For me it worked out because the apartment manager let me keep her, of course I lost my deposit.

I know how tough it is to go to school and work full-time. It is very time consuming. I would work from 7-4:00pm and then attend classes from 6-10pm. I didn't get home until sometimes 11:00 at night only too get up and do it all over again. I did this for almost 4 years. On weekends and nights off from class, I did homework.

I can feel how much you love him through your post and if I lived closer I would take him in a heartbeat.

Your post was truly from the heart :). JoJo is just adorable. It is so clear how much you love him. I so wish there was a way to keep you together.

Only you can decide if the right thing for JoJo is to find him a new, forever home. If that *is* the right thing, and if now is the time - then I admire you for not doing CraigsList - and instead, going through YT, and being as picky as *you* choose/need to be. Until the right home "feels" right...you wouldn't have to make a single move. You also can view peoples' posting history *right* here - you sure can learn a whoooole lot about folks here :). Very helpful and insightful.

You're making a decision that I can't imagine...my advice would be take it slowly. That said, if you've already made it - i.e., if you already know in your heart that he must be re-homed and that what's best for him -- then I really do think YT could potentially be a great place for you to find a match for this sweetpea. :)

Awww:cry: I'm so sorry that you're facing all of this:(

I'd be willing to take him until you are more settled, then give him back to you, but I'm pretty far from you in Florida:( Maybe someone here that's closer would be willing to foster him until you are more sure of what's going on?

Good luck, and BIG hugs to you and JoJo. He's just too adorable!:love:

Wow. You are simply a wonderful, amazing person :).

I was going to offer the same thing but I am in New York.

Fostering may be a great situation for you... someone to hold on to him until you are more stable.

Good Luck, let me know if there is anything I could do to help. :thumbup:

This might be a really stupid question, but would the airline let you take him with you on flights if the dog-quota isn't met? I'm assuming they wouldn't but maybe? Also, the hours of school aren't too long to leave him alone, just the studying hour are so maybe you could do that at home? Sorry you have to go though this and make your decision:( Hugs!

You obviously love JoJo and I know he loves you from the way you talk. I also think fostering would be the best way to go. You will get lots of replies and I am sure everything will work out for you. I hope will all my heart someone close to you can foster him until you are in a position to take him back to your loving arms.

Oh man. :( My heart is truly breaking for you. I had to rehome 2 of my dogs when my mom became disabled and we lost our house. it is truly a heartbreaking experience. I still get teary when I think about it, and it's been 2 1/2 years.

Perhaps you could find a YT member in your area who could foster him for you. I know you said your family can't. Try posting in the regional forum! I would suggest that you still visit him as often as possible, so he retains the full memory of you (that way it won't traumatize him more when he goes back to living with you).

I really, truly wish you the best of luck. I'll have you in my thoughts and prayers. :love:

I feel so bad for you :( The people that will keep him for you till you get on your feet sounds like a great idea. I hope everything works out for you.

Okay this coming from a full time student who dose not work is there any why you can leave your job and just go to school full time or maybe switch to part time work and part time school or even part time work and full time school i had a problem similar and i left my job and live off school loans (more money then you would think ) and when i need extra cash im a office temp maybe if you wiggled around your schedule you could make it work how long would you be in school will it be years or a short training program if it will only be 6 months then he could probably handle that he will be lonely but it will be over soon
i hope you figure it out

If your family is taking care of him now, can they not take care of him while you're at school?

I say it's time to take a big breath, write out a pros/cons list and wait a week to think about any type of decision. I often find that when a difficult situation comes up-my desire is to fix it quick-plow into the pain and get it over with.

I hear from you, that your heart is broken at the thought of losing Jo-Jo. I would listen to that and wait a week or two to see if a creative solution comes up. Are you connected to any families or teens in your area? I know I would have done anything as a child to spend time with a dog as I wasn't allowed to have one. Maybe there is a responsible teen that is willing to hang out with Jojo a few times a day for a very reasonable fee. If you don't know any, you could contact a local church or community center. Another option is a homeschool kid-they have the flexibility during the day to check in on him? Many times, leaders in homeschool or church groups may know that superstar kid that would fit this situation. I would get to know them during the time you are home and watch them with Jojo to make sure all is well. I would have done it for free as a kid! Maybe you could look into online school for SOME of your classes so your actual time away was less, I would brainstorm with some friends to see if they have good ideas.

There isn't a right or wrong decision here--you are being loving, making good plans for his transition of care if you decide to re-home him and thinking of him first. Now, think of you. What are your priorities etc? Does he fit in that plan or is it best to re-home? And, if you re-home, you know it's for Jojos best interest. We had to re-home a pet 10 years ago-still breaks my heart to this day, yet, I knew we couldn't keep her due to our job and she would have died of a broken heart had we hung on to her selfishly. She had a very happy finish to her life and while I never quit missing her, her quality of life was better.

My heart goes out to you. These are very difficult and emotional times. Hugs.

OMG I'm in tears for you right now! Jojo's love for you is very clearly seen in his eyes. (had to say that) and it's very apparent how much you love him too. I do believe dogs feel and know your pain.

I've read everyone's responses and you've gotten some wonderful advise. I'd like to offer two suggestions towards you and Jojo staying together. And I agree that only you can make the decision to rehome him or not. I don't at all think it would be selfish of you to keep him!!! Dogs are like children, very resilient! He does love you and you so love him. Have you thought about paying a small fee and get a neighbor child to come walk him once a day to get him out so you don't feel he's so cooped up? Or maybe look into a dog walking service (not sure how much that costs) Or maybe get Jojo a playmate??? I know, I know...OMG another mouth to feed, but it would be good company for him and shelters have so many that need homes too. Maybe a kitten so you can get a liter pan for it? I'm just throwing out ideas for you. I certainly understand if you feel he'd be better off with another home. But let me add he's use to your life too. He's use to you being gone a lot and I'm sure you're making up for the gone time when your home. I just hate that you're going through this and would love to help you out.

To those that offered to foster....You are sooooooo amazingly sweet!!!! I love you all!!!

First, ((HUGS)) to your for having to face this decision.

I think the fostering idea sounds ideal *if* it were me. Finding a YT member nearby to help you stay in touch with your baby until you are more settled. Then you are not loosing your baby, just sending him to a really nice summer camp for a while.;)

I can't imagine having to make such a decision and I admire you for being thoughtful enough of JoJo to make such a hard decision. The heartache of a decision like this might allow us to think selfishly and imagine it will be okay. You however, understand that a lonely life for him would be unfair.

I pray you are able to make the right decision for YOU and know that all will work out in the end.

Hello,

I am a professor of nursing. First, what level of nursing are you going into...RN, LVN, CNA? All have different time requirements for completion, which is a consideration. I have taught for many years at all levels and degrees and have been a dept chair and a dean. Students will come in with many personal challenges while in school and I have seen most make it through. JoJo is your baby, I would never nor have I known anyone that would ever suggest giving up their children to make it easier to go to school. It is an adjustment, a challenge, but having someone there that is not connected with classes or patients is very important. I think fostering while you are adjusting to being in school and the rigor may be a good idea, but I would love to see that he is back with you as soon as possible. He will actually help you through. Again depending on the program, you will be in class/clinicals during the week, but you also will have a lot of study time and JoJo can sit with you during all of that reading and give you that much needed break with hugs and kisses:) Again, this is just my thoughts on your situation. You are welcome to PM me if you would like to talk about what nursing school is like...it is a wonderful profession.

Hi, first let me say I am sorry you are hurting so much and I hope you find a way to keep JoJo.

If you decide to go the foster route I also will foster JoJo for you as long as needed.

I live in Atlanta GA but hope to relocate to Michigan once the housing market improves (we need to sell our house, well we need to list it and sell it). Ideally, if you had layovers in Georgia you could visit JoJo and when we come to Michigan to visit I would try to arrange some time for you to see JoJo.

I am a one Yorkie owner but I promise you I would take good care of JoJo until you decided it was time for him to be returned to you.

This is just an option along with all the offers to foster JoJo. I am sure what ever you decide will be the best interest for you and JoJo.

Good Luck.

If you go the foster route, please put all of your desires and plans IN WRITING. No matter how nice and loving people are, we are all human. Don't assume because you click with someone it will all work out. Even the best of intentions can be misunderstood or change over time. I think that would protect everyone involved. Think through the worst, what if they move, what if something happens to the dog in their care, what if they no longer can foster etc.

I don't want to rain on the parade--just would like everyone to be protected.

Not sure how it is where you live but here in California we have doggie day care. Might be an option when things are really crazy. when you are home for study time and weekends he will be there by your side helping you through. A high school student can also come by after school and walk / play with him for a small fee. There are some options. I hope everything works out for you. This is a very heart wrentching situation.

oh man what a hard decision ....I can see how much you love him. It isn't every day we see someone agonizing like this and I feel for you :(:(:( I hope something works out and like everyone said - take it slow....

He's adorable.....I hope you're able to keep him ...but you have a good point -that's alot of alone time for a little guy :(

I can tell if you do have to make this hard decision - you're making it from your heart with only him in mind and that's the sign of a true dog lover.

ps - to the offers to care for JoJo - you guys rock !

hugs
V

I can really feel your pain! You obviously really cherish your little guy and I can't imagine facing the decision that you are.
I also agree you have to be the one to make the decision...I don't think it is selfish of you to keep your baby, while you work hard at your career and education. Crazy as it sounds, as mentioned above, maybe a little playmate would be good for him?
If you feel you have to give him up, I don't think your demands are unreasonable at all!
I am thinking he can sense you are upset this morning :( ....I personally would keep him and make it work somehow.
Sounds like you already have offers of fostering him and giving him back to you, which is awesome! Hopefully someone near you will be able to do this IF this is your decision. I also agree, everything in writing! Even who will cover medical costs while in someone elses care. And if its a forever home, they should assure you that if anything comes up where they find they cannot keep your little guy, they will get him back to you!
Good luck with everything!

=[ I am so sorry you are faced with such a heart-wrenching decision. I could never imagine being faced with such, and what I would choose to do. I think you have some pretty amazing people here who are willing to help in any way. It is definitely clear that you love him, and he is such a cutie, with those big, espressive eyes. I don't think you would be selfish at all for trying to make it work. Our dogs love us, and even though we hate for them to be lonesome, when we give them up they are not able to know why, such as whether it is out of love and their best interest or not. We cannot explain to them that we just believe that they deserve better than to be left alone for long periods of time. All they know is that they are being taken to a strange place with people they do not know, and wondering if you are ever going to come back for them. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty in any way. I just do not want you to feel that you would be being selfish by trying to keep him and make it work with your schedule, etc. At the same time, trying to find him a good home and being concerned for his treatment and well-being also is a loving decision.
Either way it goes, I admire you for having the love for your dog as you would for your own child, and I hope you make the decision that you feel is best for you and for JoJo, despite how difficult it is.

My heart is breaking for you, I can not imagine the pain you feel. I think I would try every option I could find so I could keep my dog. But I am very emotional and couldn't handle giving them up to someone else. I will keep you and JoJo in my prayers that you make the right decision. There are so many wonderful, loving people on YT so I would look here first. Look for people on YT that may live in your area so maybe someone could just babysit some days.

I am also a nursing student. I have two dogs that keep each other company. I don't know your living arrangements but I moved 5 min from the school so I can go home right after class. I swear my babies are my stress relief. When I need a study break I just stare at them for a few min while there playing, they bring a smile to my face and i go back to the books. And it does depend what type of nursing degree your getting I'm going for my bachelor and if I want too I can do it part time. I'm sure you have a strong lil' fellow who wants you to do good and will be happy with whatever you decide.

Sorry it took me so long to respond...I got a last minute trip assignment this morning.

I've said it before and I'll say it again...everyone here is so amazing. You guys really know how to help someone put things in perspective and your offers are so very kind.

As far as family...while they love JoJo and don't mind helping me out while I'm away, they still consider having him so often a nuisance, and are always happy when I come back to pick him up. I totally respect that...after all, he is not their dog and they were not the ones who made the decision to have him. So I can't ask them to watch him more often, because even if they said yes out of guilt, they would end up resenting him or me and ultimately it would only become a problem.

As for my nursing goals...I'm planning on getting an ADN (associates degree in nursing) to become an RN. My sister is currently going to school for the same thing while working and I see how hectic her schedule is, and that's what I went off of. There is a doggy daycare near me that I do utilize every now and then (they always tell me he's one of the most well-behaved dogs there and they always get so excited to see him :love:), but they charge up to $30/day (overnights) and I know I wouldn't be able to afford that as often as I'd need to. Today, for example, I had to take him there as I got a last-minute one day trip and no family member was available to take him, so I paid $24 for 8 hours. Yes, I could have left him at home for only 8 hours, but with my job we can have flight delays or be reassigned mid-trip, so it's hard to determine when exactly we'll be home sometimes...and I'd rather be safe than sorry when it comes to leaving him.

I know I probably made my situation seem worse than it is, but just the thougt of not having him in my life gets me so upset and I guess any rational thought leaves my brain.

To those who offered to foster...you are angels. But I just can't help but wonder how even a foster parent could let go of a dog they've allowed into their homes and hearts after so long? I give those who do it much credit...I certainly could never be able to do it because I get attached too easily. And I wouldn't want to do that to someone else. :(

Throughout the day I was even considering quitting my airline job (which I've had for years) and finding a local part-time job, perhaps in some sort of entry-level medical environment. That way, while the days I have school and work would be long, I would still be home with him for most of the other days. And this could also be useful in getting my foot in the door for the career I'm pursuing.

Again, thank you all so much...all of your ideas/suggestions have been so helpful, and I'm thinking a little more clearly now. I want to keep him more than anything, so I'm going to try to find a way to make it work. But if I can't, I hope I can still take you up on your wonderful offers. :love-hug3 I have a lot of thinking to do and decisions to make now....

Maybe you can take more time to think about it and decide you can keep JoJo, because it would be very hard to pursue your career and education if your heart is broken. It may seem impossible now but God will take care of you and JoJo. Please let us know what you decide.