Rehome type question
 

I have taken in a 13 year old male yorkie from an elderly woman that lives in the same senior building as my Dad. She had a stroke and she will most likely never be able to take him back. They moved her to an extended care/rehab part of the hospital and they said I could bring her dog in to visit. My concern is it will be so upsetting to Nikki to see her and not be able to stay. He is missing her pretty bad. I think it would also be hard on her to see him and then let him go. I really don't know what is best for both of them. Nikki is a rescue that was with the lady for 2 years so we don't know his past. Any advice is appreciated.

I wrote a long reply and timed out and lost it!!!

okay trying again: First off, I think its wonderful of you to provide Nikki a home. You wrote in your note, she is most likely not going to be able to take him back - if there is a possibility, I would maintain contact to maintain the relationship and alleviate separation anxiety for both.

If you are able to, could you ask the lady what her wishes are? If you are willing to take Nikki in for occassional visits, then she could let you know if thats what she would like to see happen. I am trying to imagine never seeing my pup again if I couldn't care for her, and I would want to see her. But each person is different. Also, they use pups as therapy dogs in part because they bring happiness and positive effects on health, perhaps visits with Nikki would be really good for her?

In terms of whats best for Nikki, I adopted a 5 yr old pup and have had her for a year now. When we return to her home of origin for visits she is all love, hugs, kisses and cuddles for her previous owners, but is happy to leave with me when the visit ends. It took her a while to attach to me, but she did over time. As Nikki becomes attached to you as his primary caregiver, he should be fine to visit with her and leave with you - best of both worlds, maybe?

These are just my thoughts, I don't know what the answer is, best of luck with whatever you decide and I hope the little guy settles in soon!

I agree w/ellabee. Nikki will attach herself to you. I'm sure the lady will be happy to see Nikki for visits. Otherwise she'll constantly be worrying & wondering how Nikki is doing. It's so wonderful that your adopting this little girl. It's good to know she'll have a good home for her remaining years. Bless you.

Very Good post. and I totally agree. The dog will bond with you . It may take a little time but when it happens that will probably be the most loving grateful pet you will ever have. And the visits will be good for both the pet and the owner. I have done this several times and have had no regrets. Theres nothing worse then an old dog loosing it's family and what you have done is wonderful:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

Thanks all of you for your replies. I think that is the best thing to do. I will go see Carol today and verify he can come visit. I know when I saw her yesterday she smiled when I said I would see if I could bring him to see her. She just keeps saying my poor baby boy. I know I could not imagine not seeing my babies ever again. Nikki has attached himself to me already and cries when I am gone (my husband has been great with him). Fortutnately,I have known him for about 9 months and have taken him for walks and vet visits. Carol is not aware or will not accept that she can't walk and her kids (a whole other story) are cleaning out her apartment today and it hasn't even been a week. So according to the dtr the prognosis is not good but who knows when you get a determined person and rehab she may one day be able to have him with her. I just hope they keep her nearby so that I can take him often. It is so sad. The other problem I am having is since he s attached to my hip, my Roxie is upset and has gone after him, hopefully she will accept him in time. I appreciate your great input.

When my mother was placed in a hospice after a severe stroke. We took her cat to go visit her. My mother's cat knew something was wrong. Even though my mother was unconscious, we wanted her to know that her cat will be taken care of and a chance for her to feel her cat one more time.

My mother did passed away but she got a chance to feel (she never regained consciousness)her cat purring and licking her face one more time.
My mother's cat did go through some emotional feelings because he would spend most of his days in my mothers bedroom. But just like humans, they do get over it and move on. My brother and neice now take care of my mother's cat getting on their nerves now.

Rest in Peace Mom
I love you!

Two years ago I inherited my mother's yorkie.

She had gone a trip for a few weeks and came home very ill and placed in the hospital, she never came home.

The sad thing is that my step father had passed just 8 months before, so Maxine had that adjustment to go through. Then my mom passing in August, Maxine really grieved; she'd stand at the front gate and look down the street, waiting for her. It took Maxine awhile to come out of it, but she did attach herself to me and her adopted siblings.....It's been two years and Maxine is now a playful, happily adjusted 11 year old, that sleeps with us (something my mother never allowed her to do).

Thank you for your experiences with this. Nikki does get to sleep next to me and he couldn't get up on his owners bed because she had a real high bed. He has caught on to potty treats pretty quickly and lines up with the others now. I have never done anything like this so it really is encouraging to hear other's experiences.

By taking him to visit her, he will understand that she is ill. I believe, from my own experiences, that they understand far more than we give them credit for. I truly believe they "know" where their beloved person is after having seen them when they are in the hospital and "understand" better.

Just give him lots of love. I have a real high bed, but have steps for them to get up and down on. Maxine is one of four that sleep with us.

The most difficult adjustment for Maxine was she was use to being an only dog. My mother had obtained her at 8 weeks of age, so she wasn't very socialized. It took time for her to learn where her position in the pack was. She was a bit aggressive, but with a bit of training, she got it. She still plays a bit aggressively but, since my dogs are always monitored, we correct very quickly. She does have a love/hate relationship with my Savannah...they pick on each other from time to time. But, sleep side by side. Go figure.

Let me add because of losing my stepdad and mother it such a short period of time.....Maxine did have a fear of being left again by someone she loved. So, Maxine went everywhere with me....then I slowly tranisitioned her to every other trip and then occassional trips.....she finally figured out that when I didn't take her I would come home to her. When I come through the door she goes beserk.....but, she's figured out that I will come home.

It all sounds fairly positive, I think Nikki will be less stressed by it all after a few visits, he'll realize he'll get to come back for another visit. It's great you're keeping him, as he is already familiar with you, that helps immensely. Roxi will come around, she's letting Nikki know who's in charge. My Peek A Boo still goes into attack mode when visitors come to the house, anything with 4 legs is fair game! I just stay close and snatch his little butt up when he goes off! Usually, when there's nothing going on, he's fine with everyone else... even around me and food...his favorite things!

Thanks! I called and the vet is faxing his shot records to the rehab and then I can bring him. So I will be leaving in 30 minutes to take him.
Mardelin, I am sorry for the loss of your Mom and stepdad. I lost my Mom 3 years ago. I think that is a great idea, I will take him with me a few times and gradually get him use to me coming and going. His owner was always with him. Luckily my DH just retired and his home most of the time and I am home quite a bit. I will update when we get back.

My daughter-in-law is the activities director of an assisted living center/nursing home. They have two dogs and several cats in residence, and according to her, they really help the people who live there. Some of the residents don't have family or friends who visit, and often the animals are the only ones who give them love and affection. So I say, take the puppy as often as you can.

I just got back from the nursing home with Nikki. He was very aloof towards Carol and didn't react to her at all. I don't know if he was scared of the environment or knew something was wrong with. He was the hit of the nursing home, we were stopped every few feet by residents wanting to pet him. The therapist asked if I could bring him often to help with her therapy so we will keep going and hopefully Nikki will get more comfortable.

Nikki has moved over to you..which is great for him. I am glad the nursing home lets you take him in to visit and while he might be happy to see Carol I am sure he watches you very carefully..so as not to be left behind. I had many rescues do this..

I didn't think that would happen so fast. he watches me all the time and follows me everywhere. He sleeps as close to my head as he can. It is so different bringing in a rescue/rehome and I appreciate all the insight.

He's doing what Maxine did with me and still does. He's afraid he's going to lose you too.....so, you just need to have to reasure him.....it'll take a bit of time but, he eventually will become more secure.

Thanks! I am having a problem with him, where he sits as close as he can to me and if one of my 3 girls come over as they always do, he is attacking them, especially Roxie. He has no teeth so he can't hurt my girls but Roxie is fighting back and she could hurt him. Also, he is crying terribly now when I leave and I am in and out a lot due to caring for my Dad and other commitments. Today he cried for 2 hours even though my dtr tried to play with him and hold him. I am really at a loss on this situation as I don't want my girls attacked or Nikki hurt. If I show him more affection than I already am I am afraid her will just get worse. If anyone can please help me that have gone through this. I don't want to make the situation worse. Do I leave often and come back after short periods of time to get him use to my coming and going? Do I not let him sleep right next to me? Help!!! Thanks

You will have to get super tuned into both Roxi and Nikki's behavior. They will give signs right before they go into attack mode, and you'll have to step in to stop it. I use verbal startle 'No', to break the stare down, if that doesn't work, I grab for the offender and temporarily remove them from being an immediate threat. Peek A Boo no longer sleeps on my bed, as this is where his worse attacks occur. He sleeps at the foot of my bed, and the others sleep in the bed with me and DH. He will still attack if one walks through the bedroom, he's worse with Sapphire, so she comes to the doorway and will wait for me to come pick her up and place her on the bed. If Nikki can't behave when he's on your lap, he should be banished to the floor. If you allow him to stay on your lap, he will continue to protect you or defend his space, and is rewarded by staying on your lap. When he tenses up or signals attack, a firm 'no' and put to the floor. If Roxi is relaxed, pick her up and give her some lap time. Eventually they will get it, but don't accept any unwanted behavior. Be firm and consistant and fair. They may still fight occasionally, but the times should be fewer and futher between.

Nikki's aloofness towards Carol made me laugh. He's mad at her for not being there for him. He'll forgive her eventually and be friendly again, depending on how long he holds a grudge. The first time I really corrected Peek a Boo he wouldn't look at me for hours! and stayed aloof for a day and a half!

Don't continue to feel sorry for Nikki bc of his history with Carol. Dogs are pretty much 'in the moment' (except when holding grudges), and you need to treat him normally without the 'poor baby you were tore away from your family and all the things you know stuff' or you'll be feeding into his behavior issues, and singling him out as being abnormal, which your other pups will pick up on (and can cause an attack). If you can walk them together, this would be most helpful, or at least him and Roxi together. Best pack bonding exercise ever! Plus it may make them too tired to fight as much. Sometimes it can be helpful to keep leashes on them as an aid in separation. You can also incorporate using treats, when they are in each others company and behaving correctly.

About the separation anxiety... maybe have DH feed Nikki. also, when he can bond with your other pups, I think his anxiety will lessen.

Thanks Kathy. Nikki wouldn't eat for me, so I did like you said and had my husband feed him and he ate for him. So I think we will have him feed him fro awhile. I did notice when Roxie would come close to me on the bed he would get this stare going on and go rigid, so I will put him on the floor when I see this from now on. I can't walk them right now as the sidewalks are snow covered but will do so as soon as I can. Great advice. I really appreciate it.

I had to laugh when you said about him going rigid... Peek a Boo does that too! Like a little statue .... then boom rocket dog in flight to the sorry or soon to be sorry offender! Peek actually bit me ( he's 13 and missing some teeth!) he was so focused on his target, and I was a second late in grabbing him, it took him a few seconds but when he realized he bit his Mommie OMG the sorry look on his little face melted my heart. I just kept saying 'I don't believe you bit your Mommie!'. He was very sorry. Just be forwarned! You can use a pillow to block the stare (works sometimes) or a magazine when I fall asleep reading. Once he was sleeping above my head, and I was just about asleep... he jumped and ran right over my face! Thank God my eyes were closed I think he almost scratched them out! That's when he started sleeping on the floor. I fixed him up with a comfy bed and all ... I do occasionally take naps with him so he won't miss the bed. He likes to rub and roll on it when he comes in from outside. It helps too that he can't get on the bed by himself.

This snow is making us crazy! Pups are bouncing off the walls! We might have to make a mad dash to PetSmart and spend the day, or a good part of it anyway! :D:eek::D

LOL! Luckily Nikki is missing all his teeth. Nikki can jump up on my bed and I have a ramp for my 3 so it's hard to get him off the bed. I will try tonight to move his bed away from my head and see if he will settle down in it. He always slept in his bed on the floor at Carol's because she had a real high bed, so I started a bad habit. I am preparing for his attack mode tonight and will nip it in the bud. Thanks!