what should i do!!! major problem
 

:confused:
so i live with my boyfriend...however we both feel like its just over and we no longer want to be together or live together...i know, this is kinda personally but it affects our yorkie! If one of us moves out, which one of us is going to take our baby??? We both payed for him however i do a majority of the care...feeding, taking him potty, spending time brushing him and playing with him...i mean i know the bf wont wanna wake up at 3 am to let him out to potty! he also is a night owl and likes to go out with his friends so i worry about who will watch him, plus when we are around the house, im the one keeping an eye on him if he wonders off or starts getting into something. I say that i keep him since im the one who takes CARE of him but he thinks we should "share" him....but that sounds like a reciepe for disaster if you ask me....what to do, what to do! how to i convince him that if we spilt up, that i take the dog?? HELP :(

p.s.
the dog loves his momma more than the bf...the dog sleeps with me and gets sad when i leave the room...this doesnt happen with the bf....another good reason why I should be the one to take him. our poor baby, i feel bad having to put him through this....

Have you two talked about who will take your yorkie? He may decide he doesnt want her... I would see if you two could work that part out, rather than fighting :)

Sounds like you should get to get to keep him. What does your BF mean by "share"?

Maybe you could get him interested in another dog, e.g., a rescue.

Sounds like he wants a reason to stay in contact with you. Maybe he's not as done with the relationship as you are. :rolleyes:

you guys are just a bit bored with each other. soon enough, you will start calling each other to know how little yorkie is doing.

i think by share he means i have him on some days, and he has the dog on others...like on a schedule, like what would happen with divorced parents and their children! haha its just silly

im hoping everything will work out...i just need a vacation! lol

I think you should get him since you are is caretaker....

-hugs- i hope everything works out for all of you! Keep us updated :)

Offer to buy him out.

The "sharing" thing never works out. Dogs can't deal with that kind of instability in routine, especially puppies.

I'm sorry you're in this situation! As if breaking up and that change in life isn't difficult enough for you already!

Anyway, I think from what you've said it'd be better for your little one to stay with you. That said, I do get why (if he has become attached) that he'd still want contact with your little one. While "sharing" isn't really the best idea, you could at least entertain the idea. I'd think having him take care of the dog for one day a week or every other week. If what you say is true soon enough he'll be too busy to even do that and he'll take care of the situation all by himself!

All the same I really hope everything works out well for you, as best as it can!

-Vicky & Zoë

P.S. I think the "buy out" idea is a good one too!

ditto

If it's a typical relationship, if you say you want her, he'll definitely want her too! Maybe you can go along with the "sharing" suggestion and chances are, as he moves on, visitation will get fewer and farther between. My experience is, don't dig your heels in and don't try to tell him you've done more than him! Let him think he's ahead on this one. Your baby is what counts.

Find a new boyfriend with a Yorkie and live as one big happy family! :D

Buy-out!
 

Hi there,

I'm very sorry for your situation. It must be terribly difficult for you.

I have to agree with the others who have said it: give your boyfriend the money he put into the purchase and take your baby with you. Your little one will need stability and routine to be happy; otherwise, he won't feel secure. I think it's a bit too much to ask of a little dog to deal with "joint custody"; it's difficult for kids to get used to.

Good luck. I really hope things work out for you and your baby.

haha amen!

Buy him out
 

I would just give your bf the money that he put into bently....you dont want to "share" bently. If you guys dont even want to live with eachother then you are not going to want to share your baby. It also sounds like bently is more your dog. You are the momma and he wants and loves you more. I would just talk to your bf and make sure he knows everything that it takes to take care of bently...and I am sure he will want the best for bently and will want you to take him.:D

That's what I was thinking

I agree..give him the cash
 

I also agree with the others who told you he's trying to have some way to keep intouch with you. If you share the pup then you have to talk. Think of how you would feel if your new boyfriend was talking with his old girlfriend because they "share" a puppy. It's just not a good idea. Cut all your strings with him and move on. Sounds like you're lucky it wasn't a human baby as he doesn't sound very helpful. It's like a bandaid, just rip it off fast and move on. You'll be happy you did.

thanks all for your input!

I recently went through a similar thing with my boyfriend. At the time we lived together we adopted a havanese/poodle mix and a morkie. I adored (still do) these pups and we tried the joint custody thing when we split up. My boyfriend stayed in the home we had shared, while I moved to a condo. Well....the dogs went back and forth and it was a disaster. When Riley and Bella were in the apartment with me, they barked incessantly, had terrible separation anxiety and were generally miserable. Even though we had both owned these pups, I considered them mine, I had purchased the morkie myself, and I was their primary caregiver. I worked with a trainer and cried for days because my pups were just not happy living in an apartment. After months of this and my neighbors banging on my door to complain about the noise, the trainer suggested that Riley and Bella stay with my ex and I would have them in the apartment only when I wasn't going to leave them alone. Finally, she suggested that I might want to start a new puppy family in my new home and voila, I now have my two beautiful Yorkies, Sadie and Joey. I still love Riley and Bella, of course, and now when they visit all four play together beautifully. I think the point of my rambling was that it just wasn't fair to the dogs to expect them to go back and forth. One should be the owner, and maybe the boyfriend can spend an hour or two here or there with the dog on occasion, could even be your pet sitter if you are on good terms.

I am sorry that your having to deal wtih this, breakups are never easy... That being said, My S.O. payed for my dogs and their clothes and their vetting and anything else that I though my dogs needed, I make enough to take care of them but he did it, if we broke up my babies would come with me no sharing about it. They are my babies, they love their daddy but yorkies are sensitive when I am gone they look for me and wait for me and I would be a sad mess without them. JMO If you take care of your dog most of the time than he should live with you.

He probably doesn't want to "share" responsibility...he's just saying that. He may really love your furbaby, but I don't think he'd be there for the long haul. A friend of mine got full custody of their Westie in their divorce settlement.

I agree with what everyone else is suggesting. Offer to pay him his half of the money. I can see where your BF wouldn't want to just give him up if he paid for part of him. I also think that if the two of you can remain on speaking terms, the two of you could work out a deal. Maybe he can watch him every other weekend or something? If you need to go out of town, he could babysit?

Good luck! Breaking up is hard and even harder when you have a "child". :hug:

:animal-paseems to me that you both should be thinking what would be the best for your wee baby, your feelings have to be put on back burner, and reading what you do for the little one it is better for her to stay with you, less trauma, because she will know that changes have been made so don't make it hard on her. The feelings of you baby must come first, so expalain this to bf. he should understand if he loves her he will leave her where she is settled.
Good luck.
:aimeeyork Jac and jimi Hart :wavey::love: