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I'm so sad and disappointed in myself I'm really torn up about my yorkie girls and feel like i'm neglecting them. I just don't know what to do. I have been working up to 70hrs a week, i'm the bread winner in the family so saying no to the overtime is not really an option. I have 6 dogs total, the 2 yorkies being the small ones and 5 kids. My yorkie babies stay in an ex-pen for their own safety and use pee pads to potty in the pen. I'm not finding enough time to have them out and running about and getting the attention they deserve. :( I'm even having trouble finding the time to brush them as often as they need. The hours i'm working will probably lessen at the first of the year but I still feel like i'm cheating them out of what they really need. Bella is very frail and I don't allow my little kids to handle her on their own because of fear of injury, my 5 and 11 yr old are great with animals and can handle Coco because she is sturdier but don't because Bella will get upset and bark the entire time out of jealousy. My husband can't be bothered by either of them.. he says they are "my" dogs. OMG, I feel so heartbroken that i'm having them live such an exsistance. What should I do? |
I don't know what you should do....but wanted to let you know that I feel for you....it is so hard when you need to work and be gone for such long hours.... |
Ohhh, don't beat yourself up! You poor thing :( I can only imagine your girls are cared for FAR better than most yorkies out there, and I am sure they won't hold a grudge. You are such a good mommy, I don't know what to tell you... Hugs to you from me, Ranger and Ryder! |
I don't know, but that is a LOT of responsibility. I can barely handle 5 hours of school, 2 hours of sports, and 3-4 hours of homework with one Yorkie and an old Cocker Spaniel. You have 4 more dogs and 5 kids! I can see you work really hard. I don't want to come off as rude, but maybe you should consider rehoming a few of them. I got Max from a person who works 11 hours a day and has 3 kids and is a single mom. It definitely was not fair to him and he is much happier getting daily walks, brushing, and attention. Maybe you could look into rehoming them and only do so if the perfect home is found. I don't know what else to suggest, but good luck with any decisions you make. Vanessa |
This is a common feeling most working mom's go through! They have each other so they are getting companionship. Have you considered cutting the hair in a very short puppy cut? That would fix the grooming problems. And besides you said that it was temporary. Maybe you could give the 11 year old a little more responsibility with Bella to help you out? |
You have a lot on your plate. Can you afford taking them to doggie day care maybe twice a week so at least they get some play time with other dogs? Since you're working a lot that would be a good idea. I know when i was working i would come home so tired and sleepy, i barely had time for anything! I had to quit cause it was affecting my school and had no time for the dogs and i missed them but im not the breadwinner. So i would suggest a daycare or hire someone to walk them, play with them for you. |
I think they are lucky to not be the only dog in the house, I think if you only had 1 then they would really feel lonely right now. It's not so bad if your hours will cut back next month, I think you should talk to your husband, that's what I would do, if he isn't working nearly as much as you are then he should take on some more responsibility in the house. I don't think spending an hour with the dogs is a lot to ask. I couldn't imagine taking all of that on, it's hard enough for me going to school full time and having two dogs plus a husband to deal with. But next month when things go back to normal they probably wont think anything of it! |
AWww, I think your concern really shows what a good Mommy you are. Seeing as your hrs will be cut back next month, I wouldn't worry too much. I don't know how you do it! I have 3 kids, and 2 dogs...there is NO WAY I could work a full time job, especially with overtime! Hats off to you! |
Can you ask your husband to reconsider his position? I'm sure there's a backstory as to why they are "your" dogs, but it's not like a cd collection -- these are living, breathing beings with needs and feelings of their own. If he is not working the kind of hours that you are, it seems like it would be a nice, supportive, husbandly thing to do to tend to your loved ones when you are not available. If nothing else, if they don't get the attention they need, they will act out, and that will affect both of you. |
Oops all I can say is here is a hug. I don't think you have even had time to check back on your own thread you posted. |
Hon,you are beating yourself up for loving these dogs. Do you have enough room somewhere to put up a work out room? Like put ramps and toys and give them a bigger place to "run free together,like a basement or spare room. If you have kids,then ask them to help out. Make it fun. Give the kids the brushing and playing duty,tell them that if they help take care of them,they get to go to the movies or have a pizza party or something special once a month. You opened your heart and home to all these dogs. You have alot to handle,but your not alone,take advantage of that. It's worth it. |
Aww I wished I lived closer they could come over and play with my crew. Hopefully you wont be working so much soon. |
I'm so sorry. But i have to say that our Dogs much like our kids often understand that you're doing EVERYTHING you can for them. I think you must me a great and loving mom to ALL your kids if you care enough to post about it. I hope you find an answer that you like and works out for your family. I'll keep you in thought. |
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I'm not sure rehoming them is the answer since they are obviously as loved as possible and they have each other. I would consider cutting their hair all the way down and then they will rarely need brushing. If your work schedule were to continue to be 70 hours a week with no end in sight, then something may have to be done because an xpen just isn't big enough and they do need human interaction. Have you thought about daycare? |
I would talk to your husband and see if he will consider spending at least an hour a day with them, maybe take them for a walk or let them outside to run and play. Since you are the breadwinner, I don't think he's being very fair to you. You're working 70+ hours a week for the family. So, he should take on more responsibility to help you out. You could also consider shorter cuts for the dogs so that grooming isn't as time consuming. Don't beat yourself up. You're doing all you can, and since you said it's a temporary situation, you can spend more time with them later. But, for now you need some help, and I hope your husband will step up and help you more. |
If your husband says "they're your dogs", then tell him to start working and making the money you're making so you can take care of "your dogs". That's one thing I can say about my husband, even though we have 6 dogs, and I'm the one that has wanted everyone of them, he still helps me out, cleans up after them, lets me go to Illinois to visit whenever I want(he stays home with the dogs). When you're married, everything should be 50/50.. |
Thanks everyone for all your posts, your advice really has helped me think of other options then what is going on now. About my husband, he doesn't work and has been on disability for years. I could write a book about him not pulling his weight here but that isn't something I have been able to "fix" not that I don't work on it. I decided to try to cut back some of the overtime hours where I can and make room for at least 1 day off a week. I'm home tomorrow all day! The girls are going to have a spa day and lots of attention from me. I also think I will try to get my 11 yr old more involved in loving on Bella and Coco, and grooming them. Daycare isn't in the finances at the moment but will possibly be an option down the road. Here we come puppy cut! |
Maybe you can get Victoria Stilwell to visit you. She had a show on recently where the husband would feed five of the six family pugs, but not the sixth. His justification was the the sixth was a foster his wife had taken on with consulting him (which she admitted to), but it was really sad. This poor dog was missing his lower jaw and an eye, and would spend lunch time watching all the other dogs get fed. I think if Victoria had been given the chance, she would have torn him limb from limb. But she settled for a major tongue lashing and commitment from the husband that he would care for ALL the dogs. |
Awww Jackie I'm glad you had a chance to clear your head. I just had a thought- what about your sister who recently got the darling little morkie? Would she be able to take the girls for one or two days a week, or maybe for a few days if you are going to be working long hours in a row? YOU BETTER POST PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!! :p |
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Its hard, because we cannot explain to them that Mommy has to go out to earn money so they have food in their bowls...But remember - you obviously care more then the average dog owner, and when you are working - you ARE helping to care for them, even if they can't understand that. I know there are no official rewards for being the breadwinner and primary parent to both skin and furkids, but you should know, you deserve one!! Its not easy what you are doing and I applaud you! :number1ri |
you need to get a new husband. :eek: i don't work, and i still ask my fiance to help me with the animals all the time. and i yell at him when he says they are my animals. (even though he works about 80 hours a week) i do tell him that he needs to get a new fiance though:rolleyes: anyways, i am glad that you get to spend sometime with your furbabies and they get to have a spa day!:D it's good for them, and it's good for your mental health to be able to spend time with your cute babies.:D:thumbup: |
YES! Its totally imporatant to your mental health to have time with the furballs. Mine keep me sane (or insane - depending who you ask)... |
I'm glad you're getting a day off to spend with your furbabies! That's time well spent, you probably need it as much as they do. Although my dogs were MY idea, and I'm the one who wanted them, my husband helps take care of them. He plays with them, cleans up after them, feeds them when I am busy, takes them for walks. I'm so thankful for that because he has never been a lover of small dogs. But, he sure loves our little guys!:) I hope your situation improves soon. You deserve a break! |
[QUOTE=yorkiepuppie;2359293]you need to get a new husband. :eek: QUOTE] Yes, rehoming (the husband):rolleyes: might be the best option. Seriously, you sound like you're doing a fine job. Your babies have each other, and it sounds like people are around. They don't need to be picked up to have human interaction. |
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