It's gonna be a rough few months.....
 

Not many know me personally but I really need some advice or maybe just reassurance for my situation.

I am 28 and the proud owner of my little man Tobey who is going to be 2 in December. I work full time as a social worker, but last July decided to go to Cosmetology school part time in the evenings and Saturdays. This worked fine because my husband was in college and therefore home at times during the day between classes and such, and also in the evenings when I had school.

My problem is that my husband moved out over Labor Day weekend (his decision) I learned about the news in July and froze my hours (stopped going) at school. So for the past few months it has just been me and Tobey. I already have noticed more anxiety in him- maybe because Jon is gone?? He currently has to be alone Monday-Friday from about 8:30am-5:30pm.

The complicated part and the part that I am most worried about is that I HAVE to finish school. I have about 1,100 hours done out of a 1,500 hour program plus my aunt paid the tuition in full for me so I would be stupid not to finish. I called the school and committed to coming back the first week of November. This will mean that Tuesdays- Thursdays I will be gone from 8:30am- 9:45pm. Over 13 hours!! AND most Saturdays from 8am-5pm.

Now I know LOTS of people post about being worried about leaving their little ones home alone for long hours. I've left him before and I know he will survive. However, I haven't ever had to do it for more than a day or two at once. (it will probably take me good 4 months to finish) My worry is that since this won't be just a "once and a while" type thing, that he will develop more issues being left alone so much. I don't know my neighbors, I can't afford doggy day care or to pay someone to come over and such. Luckily he is potty pad trained. He had access to most of the house- kitchen, living room, and then a few others if I leave the doors open. He doesn't cause any damage thank goodness!!

Ideas for me?? I am worried that he will develop issues because he won't have time to play outside as much and go for walks- therefore expending his energy. Obviously it is only short term. I usually only take him for walks after work, do you think a morning walk would help? He seems to have ENDLESS energy no matter how much he runs in the back yard or how long I walk him....:confused:

Hey, sorry to hear about your situation, I leave mine alone while i'm at work but havent seen any anxiety issues in Duke yet so I can't really offer any advice, I hope someone can help you.
Also, I'm a social worker as well and it's unfortunate that we do not get pay well enough that most of us have to get a second job (side note).

Good luck.

The good thing is he is trained to pee pads...Dogs are funny, he may resort to peeing in the house because he's mad, or he may not..My suggestion would be to leave the t.v. on for him..Dogs adjust, and he'll be fine...just make sure he's got plenty of toys and the t.v going for him..also make sure you have a light on somewhere for when it gets dark, and then when you get home, smother him with lots of love..Sorry you're having such a hard time..things will get better

I'm so sorry about your situation. Hopefully, he'll transition smoothly into this short-term change in schedules. Can you go home for lunch on some days?
Make sure he has plenty of things to chew on and play with while you're gone, although he'll probably just sleep most of the time. Like the previous poster said, maybe you could leave on the t.v. on some days and the radio other days.
Do you have any family that could stop in and check in on him sometimes?
Morning walks would be good for him and also after school.

I think my Jazz is happier since we got Mo, our chi-pom. They keep each other company. Is there anyway you could adopt a small brother or sister from a shelter? There are tons of homeless dogs out there now, and truly, to me, having 2 is no harder than one.

Good luck with school. I am working more than I used to and hate leaving my boys so much, so I can understand your concern.

I was going to suggest adding a brother or sister, but someone beat me to it :)

Is there a neighborhood kid that you can trust to come and take him out, and play with him on your long days? Maybe there is someone that you could barter with.....reciprocate with their pet when you are done school? Good luck!!

[you don't have to answer] but is his daddy out of the picture completley? Cause if not, maybe you could work it out so Tobey could stay with him during the day and you could swing by and pick him up on your way home? If not, maybe you have a neighbor or a kid in the neighborhood who could stop in and check on him a few times?

I hope it all works out for you! I'm sure it will! :)

I sympathize with you. I have the same problem. My york is alone too long due to my crazy work hours and long commute. I have to get a daily dog walker or take him to my Mom's for the day.

Maybe a friend or relative can dog sit? Many older people may enjoy the company. I would suggest a dog walker if you can't find someone to hang with him.

I don't know if it is the same where you live, but when I was working a lot of hours for school and my other dog had separation issues and I couldn't afford it. I spoke to one of the doggie day cares and worked out a payment plan.... It may not work, but there is always a chance that it could.

On a side note. I was thinking about skipping law school and becoming a social worker. I think I would love it even more than being a lawyer....... in the end its worth it right?

I am sorry about your situation, but maybe you can get a play mate for him, or hire someone that you trust to come walk him when your gone for the long days. Good Luck and hang in there:)

I'm sorry you're going through a rough time. I know it's a long time to leave your Tobey home alone. I also was wondering if his daddy could stop by for a visit and a walk, perhaps.

I was thinking tonight how much our puppies love us, no matter what. It won't be fun while you're going through it, but those 4 months will pass quickly and I'm sure Tobey will be just fine when it's over - and happy to have you home more.

Lots of love and attention when you are home should help things go more smoothly.

Good luck!

Maybe few days a week to doggy day care will help too:aimeeyork

I don't know if I can help you with ideas, but I just want to say I'm sorry for your problems.

I agree with some of the advice given here. Try to find someone who you can leave him with on those long days. If you're anything like I was in college, you don't have a lot of money to toss around on doggie daycare, which is the ideal situation. But there's got to be someone you trust who would love to have a little guy around for a few hours a few days a week. Just being around people is better than sitting home alone.

I don't want to bum you out or try to make this sound like a lecture. I've been there, done that with dogs. But they do thrive on stimulation. They're pack animals, and when their pack is gone for 13 hours a day and they're sleeping another 8 hours a day, it makes for a boring life. Their personality, if not their health, is going to suffer.

If nothing else, make the time you do spend with him quality time. Walks, teaching tricks, playing with toys, etc. A little intellectual stimulation goes a long way.

That said, you have to take care of yourself, too. Do what's best for you and try your best to do what's best for your dog.

Good luck. I can tell you care very much about Tobey.

get him a companion dog... thats my suggestion.. dogs are pack animals and desire to be with other canines... best wishes:animal-pa

I think he'll be fine, especially since it's short term. Leave the TV on, give him plenty of toys, maybe a kong with peanut butter inside, leave a light on so he won't be alone in the dark, give him lots of attention when you can. Keep him confined to an area where accidents won't be a problem. You don't need to come home and be aggravated at him because he peed on the carpet! These little guys are tough and he will adjust.

I know how hard it is leaving your lil one home alone. I hated doing that to ava but she did ok and is still loving and active. Bowie doesnt have to be alone too much because his daddy works from home, but i do encourage him to leave him from time to time becaus eif not we could never do anything. He is getting better, he used to throw his water dish around and wed come back to water everywhere. All my good thought go out to you. I really admire you for doing all that you are doing.

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. You both will make it through this. I agree with other posts, try to find a reliable teen to come play with him for a little while. I work from home but have travel frequently. I feel so guilty that I pay a girl 8.00 to come walk/play with Atticus for an hour each day that I am away (my husband gets home early evening). If you don't know of anyone then you could call a local church or the guidance department/honor society chapter of the local high school. good luck and remember, this is only temporary.

I have and am currently going through what you are preparing for.

I work full time and my boys were home from 730am - 6pm. I ended up having to confine them in my kitchen due to behavioral problems. They are doing great now though and very well adjusted. It did take a little bit though. I highly recommend and indoor pen where Tobey cannot get at your walls while he is alone. My boys ate holes in my walls, and the bottom of my cabinets and my baseboards are chewed up.

Last January I made the decision to go back to school. I did online classes last semester but this semester I go to the school. I am gone mondays & wednesdays from 730am - 915pm. I hate it, its awful, but its temporary. Soon when its over I will again have all the time in the world for my boys.

I'd say just leave Tobey be the way he is and lavish him when you get home from school, don't forget that walk even if you are tired and a treat. I'm sure he'll be fine if it's only 4 months more! Good Luck girl, its hard but I heard its all worth it! :)

Ummm... if you don't mind being poor, then the job can be rewarding. I loved it for the first few years, but I have been doing it for 6 years now and am a little burned out. I think it all depends on what kind of job you do also. there are so many options in the field.

To others, thanks for your feedback. I am not extra strong as some suggested, just surviving. If I could, I would totally curl up in a ball with my Tobey, and never get out of bed ;) but I have to pay the rent....

I WISH I could come home for lunch but I work about 30 miles away. Maybe I could try to get over my shyness and meet some of my neighbors. I have only one friend in the St. Louis area, and she's my co-worker so that isn't an option. and my husband moved to Edwardsville which is about 20 minutes away so he would not be willing to come watch him. It was like pulling teeth to just have him watch him for the weekend this past weekend when I had to go out of town! I would love to get another pup, but i just don't think it is an option for many reasons right now.

anyway, i gotta go get him from outside... he's barking like a maniac!!

Get an xpen and then you will have room for food and a bed and pee pads.
If my routine changes I put on the television to the animal planet or a chanel with shows on it about animals. Like the other day the dog whisperer was on for several episodes so it was cool.
If he has run of the house hide treats for him. I know one friend called home several times a day and the anwsering machine would play what message was being saved so her dog could hear it. I believe when she did this the distructive behavior stopped.
At first her dog was mad about the change in the schedule.

I only live 2 hours away from you in Casey, IL. If you run out of options nearby and dont think you can bear leaving him alone, I could always care for him while you are finishing this. Of course, we could meet halfway and you can take him on weekends/holidays. :) Just letting you know you have this option open.

I have a two year old too and he is also an only child at the moment. We have been through the whole anxiety thing. He used to get at the garbage can and spread everything through the whole house. He eats my shoes - I am crazy about my shoes and he has never been allowed to do anything like this. I have lost about 5 pairs of gorgeous shoes, but anyway. It is the price you pay.

Cash still does the garbage and shoes thing when I leave him for longer than 3 hours.
My suggestion would be to confine him to a place where he can't do any harm and get him some activity toys. I got him a Kong activity ball which he loves - you put treats inside and he plays with it for hours. The trick is to get his attention off the fact that you aren't there.
I don't think another dog would be good right now - they can be unpredictable and may hurt your baby. The extra responsibility would make it harder for you too.
I will be praying for you in this hard time. We are all behind you. :thumbup:

Luckily he has run of the house and has never destroyed anything except for his own stuffed toys and a cheap rug by the front door that had rubber backing. He used to flip up a corner of it and scratch at it.

Also, when it gets cold out, do you guys still take your pups for walks? I am not talking just a little chilly but like 20 degrees and below or so. I would think Tobey might freeze to death!

I think I will try the TV idea. I had to cancel cable TV when my husband moved out but now my aunt is giving me some money to help out each month so I am getting it again on Monday- so I will have animal planet :)

My parents offered to take him for a few months but I think I would just miss him sooo bad. Thanks again for all the well wishes, prayers, and thoughts!

Yes, but this year, for the first time, I'm considering wearing long underwear to keep warm on those cold early morning walks. Fortunately, Gus is quick in the morning, and I expect that he'll improve his time on cold mornings. Seriously, except for the part about the long underwear, I'll see how he handles the cold, and adjust accordingly.