Pet Rules...Need a Laugh?
 

This made me chuckle...I had to share with others who would understand! :sidesplt:

PET RULES

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - their nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not stake a claim for it, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest :animal-pa

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run :doghop:

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this.. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm :dogzzz:

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required :cat0:

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough! :tongue4:

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it 'furniture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, they are adopted children who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
01. Eat less
02. Don't ask for money all the time
03. Are easier to train
04. Normally come when called
05. Never ask to drive the car
06. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
07. Don't smoke or drink
08. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
09. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children
:yay_jump:

That made my day!!:yelrotflm And oh how true it is!!!!:goodpost:
Paula:p:ghug: Halle:aimeeyork Brutis:aimeeyork

LOL, I love it!

That was great!!!:D:D:D

FURniture. :lol tears

Someone really knows their dogs, that is so true and funny, thanks for posting.

i love it! it's so funny! :D

Awwww...So true :D:D Thanks for posting that...I am going to print this and give it to my boyfriend and family.

I actually have this printed with Toto's pic at the top, framed and in a prominent place to be seen as soon as you enter our home! We really mean it! She is a good girl [slightly spoiled! :rolleyes:] and she doesn't do obnoxious things when visitors are there, soooooo .... if they are offended, they aren't welcome in our home, seriously!! She is more behaved than some people's children that we know. Sorry, but we feel that if we can train a Yorkie to be well behaved, God help humans who can't train/control their children!! :)

This is great stuff! The part about the king-size bed really made me laugh. Why do they all sleep perpendicular and stretched out to the max? We wake up stiff from being crunched up at the edge of the bed, while my two yorkies have the whole center......something is very wrong here..lol

Love it, very cute!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG was that just terrific !!! Can I copy and send to all I know lol?
:lol tears:bravo::lol tears

Many years ago, I had a Great Dane. He used to sleep with my (then) 5 YO daughter on a twin bed. He would start off at the foot of the bed, with lots of room. Then he would scoot higher up, parallel to her, but between her and the wall. Then he would straighten out his legs put his feet against the wall and PUSH.

Leslie, of course, would end up on the floor. He then had the whole bed to himself, and he would rearrange himself on the bed, head on her pillow, and snooze the rest of the night away. I can't begin to tell you how many mornings I would go in to wake her up and find her soundly asleep on the floor!

It did have one very good side effect: she rapidly learned to keep the area around her bed toy-free so when she fell out, she didn't break anything ;)

I've always wondered why dogs sleep perpendicular instead of parallel. The only thing I can think of is that then, they know where BOTH "parents" are. I put a satin covered pillow down by the foot of the bed, where their stairs are. Most of the time, they'll come up and give us a sniff or two, then go back to the pillow to sleep. That way, we don't have to fear squishing them.

sounds just soooooooo familiar! :D