[RachelandSadie]

I just had to step in, i've stayed away from this because i kept seeing it over and over and just knew it was turning for the worst.

I dare say, once upon a time not so long ago I sounded exactly like the OP here. I know how she must be feeling and i know that she's frustrated with her situation. I can understand a need to vent, i did that and took some heat for it. I cannot believe how i must have come across to all of you. Looking back, if i did sound the exact same way to you all as the OP does here, i can see why you would have gotten after me. I was feeling threatened and attacked and hurt back then and taking things far too personally and letting the slight little snips in comments make me fuming mad and upset. Now that we're past all that and i've stuck it out on YT and didn't walk away from it, i've learned that those of you on here i thought would be my worst enemies are now my biggest supporters and help...i've made so many good friends that i love and trust...we have learned enough about each other after some time and patience to be friends and to help each other back and forth.

OP, it just takes time. you have to learn to not let comments offend you, don't go looking for the negative in every comment. when you get upset and feel attacked, it's easy to keep assuming all comments are going to attack you when most of them actually weren't trying to, you are just looking for it now. does that make sense?? you have to ignore the truly hurtful ones, and the ones that are sorta in the middle, you have to learn to stop taking it the wrong way and looking for the snippy parts. sometimes you read too much into a comment and take it totally wrong (BEEN THERE DONE THAT)

just stick it out, we're all here to help, most of us, even those with very strong convictions and opinions are only offering what worked for us, we don't care that much if you use our advice or if you like what we have to say or not, we really don't care if you agree with us, we're just trying to help, trying to share how we've done things and what worked for us.

i will repost the one post that made the most sense to me on my own troubles with YT in the beginning. someone on here asked where TOY was, well here she is in Spirit!!!

hope this makes you feel better....ask me anything you want about crate training a puppy and anything you want about learning to make friends and get along better on here, i've been through the process, came out on top, and i think (tell me if i'm wrong YT) i have gained the respect of others on here and made lots of lasting friendships!!

here's my thread much like your current one: Fussy Puppy

here's toy:

Rachel, I'm going to jump right in here and meddle, I think.

I have read your threads from the very beginning and at once even got caught up in the drama. I am in a bit of an observer mode right now so while I am in that mode, I'd like to share a few thoughts with you. You may take them in the spirit in which I am giving them or you may spurn them...regardless, I hope it will give you a bit more insight into those who are responding to you.

I don't know your age but I daresay I am quite a bit older than you...perhaps even old enough to be.....well, I do hope that is stretching it a bit! Your youth is apparent to me in your postings, through what you say, how you say it, and the energy you exert. (You may not understand that until you are in your own middle age years...LOL)

Have you ever talked to someone who never listened? What I mean is a person who is formulating how they are going to respond and what they are going to say before you ever finish your thought? They never really hear what you say because they are too busy already putting up defensive barriers. I fear that you are quite often doing that in your reading and posting.

You have some had some great wisdom shared with you from folks here who have so much experience with dogs and puppies and Yorkies in particular. I feel confident in telling you that because I am not one of those wise ones. I have only had my Yorkie puppy for a few months now and still have so much more to learn.

However, I do a couple of things when I post for advice and help. I learned this quite early in my postings before I bought my Yorkie because one of my first posts included weight of the puppy I hoped to get. I wasn't really seeking information then but boy did I get some "learning." I realized that there was so much I didn't know regardless of my education and degrees. There is such a vast difference in "book learning" and experience. In many instances, experience trumps and in my opinion, raising dogs is one of them.

I learned from my first few "painful" postings that I needed to think and rethink, read and reread before I hit the "submit" button to post especially when I was responding to or reacting to someone else's post. In most instances I remember to do that. Ever so often though, emotion overcomes my intelligence and I spout off before I think it through. Without exception, I always end up regretting it.

You need to step back and take a deep breath and try to read responses to your posts without being so defensive. These people wish you no harm. If it appears to you that they are always on your puppy's side, let me assure you that they are ALWAYS on the side of the puppy. (It reminds me a bit of when I married. My mother told my husband that she wanted him to know that whenever he and I argued, she would be on HIS side. It was meant as a joke but there was an underlying truth to it. What she really meant was she didn't want me running to her with complaints, etc.)

That's a bit where everyone is coming from, I think. They tried to council you and share their experiences but as almost everyone of us has done, you followed your own heart. That point is moot now because it is a "done" deal or as I liked to tell my students, you can't unscramble eggs.

However, you move on from this point. You will find people willing and eager to advise and help you but they will want to do it to help the puppy. They are the puppy's advocate, not yours. They speak for the one who cannot speak for herself...your Sadie. If you stop and think about it, would you want any less from a forum about Yorkies?

Many of these folks rescue abused Yorkies and help authorities close puppy mills and such. When you seek their advice by posting questions choose your words carefully. Regardless of your intent or what you meant to say, when you use words such as "evil" in reference to a Yorkie, you will have opened a floodgate of responses. They don't know you except through your words so you must carefully pose your questions or voice your thoughts.

They are not targeting you in a mean or rude or offensive manner intentionally. However, they are responding to what YOU write. For the most part these are wonderful people who have a genuine real interest in the welfare of your Yorkie, little Sadie. They are human adults though and being such are not perfect. You have to realize that when they offer their "told you so" rhetoric, they are responding much as parents to a child. It's just human nature, I think, to remind people that you did warn them about a potential problem.

Just try to remember that, give them that point much as you would your parents, and move on. If you've ever heard the expression, "Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater," you'll understand what I am suggesting. There is much to be learned and gained from the experience of the wise ones here. Don't fail to listen just because you first have to allow them the "told you so." If you can allow yourself to let down that defensive barrier, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at your interactions on the board.

I have been.

Good luck!!