[Amber_lv]

Yes this is how it was for me and my mom I knew if i did wrong she was going to kick my butt. My husband is very over baring and he will spank for anything he yells and screams and i just can't deal with that. It's not fear he delivers to them they actually have hated him. I have to try to do it a little different because the spanking doesn't faze them anymore. It's like kids today have no respect at all anymore. My mom who i feared growing up is having troubles with my 14 yr old sister right now it's like my sister just doesn't care about anything has no fear and it's scary. I want to get a hold on this now before he turns 13 and i loose all control. At this point i don't trust him to do anything at all. I do admit i get very frustrated being pretty much a single parent, I get no alone time, i can't even go to the bathroom alone anymore i have to bring my kids with me now. I don't get time away and it's frustrating. At times i have given in and not been consistant because i feel i am at my breaking point.

Originally Posted by IluvLucy

I feel for you. I was a single parent from the time my boys were 6 & 3 'til they were 16 & 13. They are now 32 & 29

I found that the main thing is consistency. Today, I see lots of parents trying to be their children's friend. That doesn't work. They need parents, not friends. I also believe a LITTLE fear is healthy! My boys knew that if they screwed up anywhere, it would be worse when they got home.

I spanked my boys when they needed it and praised when it was appropriate.

I'll give an example: When my oldest was 14, I was home with the flu and got a call from his school to come get him - he was in a fight. I told them to release him, he would come straight home (I only lived 2 blocks away) They didn't believe me, but I insisted. I stood on the porch and watched the sidewalk until I saw him coming. By the time he got home, this hulking teenager was in tears! I'm 5'3" and he was 6 ft at the time and weighed
170, but he KNEW I was going to tear into him and I did.

Even though he was bigger than me, the respect and yes, FEAR, I instilled in both of them from the time they were little allowed me to dish out the punishment he deserved. He knew the routine - he leaned over the bed and I tore his butt up with a belt then grounded him for 2 weeks. That meant no phone, straight home from school, no friends and no tv.

He grew up to become a cop and a firearms instructor. He told this story at classes and when people laughed - he told them this "My Mama is a little short fiery woman with a temper as big as she is. She tore my butt UP and I thank God she did. It could've been me on the other side of the bars instead of the other way around. I always told them when I got in trouble at school - Please, call anybody but my Mama - she's gonna raise cain."

I tell you this because sometimes grounding and taking things away doesn't work. I'm not saying BEAT your kids - that's wrong. There is a difference in spanking and beating.

Start 'em young. Tell 'em ONE time, then follow thru with whatever punishment you deem necessary.