I hear ya about the noise. I really do. Our Tobey likes to bark. Even when there's not anything even possibly bothering him. We've got him used to the crate though. (We let our pomeranian sleep in there with him.)
If you have the space, maybe try moving him as far away from where you sleep as you can until he gets used to the crate. (Maybe try earplugs?) Also, turning on a radio or leaving the tv on for em helps sometimes.
Only advice I've got
I'm sorry I'm not more help.
*hugs*
I hope things get better for you soon.
(And...I know I'm new and don't know you, but I wouldn't worry about anybody that's puttin you down and actin all holier than thou. You've had a big change too, sounds like, not just your pup...and venting is healthy. Just try to find some "me time" for yourself. An extra long hot shower and a warm chai works wonders for frazzled nerves. Be sure to take you some b vitamins along with a multivitamin too. The little boost from the b vitamins will help you feel better, 'cause I bet a lot of what you're feeling is lack of energy from lost sleep.)