Great thread Paul - you made me cry and laugh out loud through it.
I recognize so many things in it about my own yorkies.
Our breeder told us this:
Yorkies are called velcro dogs, and that's true, but they are also NOT a poodle - they won't do anything to please humans - they have their own way and you can take it or leave it, but if you have a yorkie in the house you might as well face the fact that the yorkie will decide for itself what is right and what's not. With other dogs you can "make them" mommys dog or daddys dog - yorkies will choose for themselves - in every way. And there is nothing you can do about it - so get used to it.
We thought she was a little "off" and too influenced by being a breeder, but she was right all the way.
When my husband and I come home at the same time, the dogs will shortly snif his legs, then jump and DANCE on their hind legs around me till I pick them up and let them lick me welcome home. I am usually soaking wet and have to go wash my face when they are done.
My husband gets jalous, but he has learned to live with it - and he has his "time" - when we are sitting on the couch or at the computer, the dogs will be with him, they will climb him/jump on him and MAKE him hold them so they can sleep against his chest. If I ask them "Don't you want to be here with mommy?", they will look up at me with this "You must be kidding me, what do
you think?"-look.
When he has the night shift and comes home at 7am the dogs will wake up at 6.30, lick my face to wake me up and then run from me to the front door, giving me the "Is he coming home soon Mommy?"-look. And then he will get the big welcome treatment when he walks through the door
And then at night one of them will curl up next to my neck and the other will curl up on top of my husband. They change places several times during the night and in the morning they will both be close to my legs.
Regarding food, we have taught them that our food is our food, so when we eat they will jump on the couch, snif what we're having and then go on playing. They just
have to know what we're getting, but they'll never beg or try to steal any.
Go figure...
I have no idea why they do what they do, but I respect that I have 2 living beings with their own mind in my house - and I think you have to as well