 A Letter To Simon and Hallie From Their Mother!
Dear Simon and Hallie~
1. I call you monkeys b/c I think monkeys are cute NOT because I always think you belong in a zoo.
2. I do not leave in the morning to go play with other doggies (regardless of what you think I do).
3. I work because we need shelter, food, soccer balls and grooming. And you both know darn well that you get groomed more than I do. I do not work because I don't want to spend time with you.
4. Simon, I sit on the floor while you eat not to hand feed you, but to keep Hallie out of your bowl.
5. Hallie, I am not starving you. You are on a diet so you can live a long long time and it's winter, seriously, neither of us exercise as much as we need to.
6. Simon, I took Molly away so you won't hurt yourself. It's not that I don't want you to have a girlfriend but you need to treat her better.
7. I love you both very much so if we don't go outside it's not that I don't love you, it's because there is freezing rain and ice falling off the building. I am not trying to deprive you of outside time.
8. Hallie, I take away the squeeky toys at night b/c Simon and I need to sleep. Waking up at 2am to play isn't very nice.
9. Joe, the trainer, comes over to make you polite members of society. Not to rub your belly Hallie and not to play ball Simon. Again, I work so I can pay him.
10. I apologize that not every bag that comes in the apartment doesn't contain a new chewie or toy. But it's ok that you need to thoroughly check it out.
Sincerely,
Your Mother~ |