Because of Tophers penchant for stealing things that are dropped, 'lifting' things that are sitting on the table, digging in purses to steal anything his little ole heart desires and hding EVERYTHING under the blankets in his hut (even if he steals something ever so tiny, he will not eat it...he hides it) I would say that Topher would be a cleptomaniac or a thief looking at 5 to 10 in the slammer....lol! His name would be something like 'Sticky Fingers Malone' and he'd have a blonde wife named Bitsy who worked at the local coffee shop...not too bright, but built!
He'd learn his lesson behind bars and come out a changed man...live a good life and retire in Florida.