I have six children whom I raised alone; two boys and four girls. My son (the next to the oldest child) gave me hell and I shed alot of tears over him. We did the counseling thing several times which was a waste of time. He wouldn't talk and I wondered whether the counselor in one case even cared. She just blamed everything on his father. I knew he was hurting, he was a follower, he saw no fear in life and he certainly wouldn't let anyone tell him what to do!
He quit school at 16. He was in juvenile hall as a young teenager for theft; he was in juvenile and adult court several times (I worked at this courthouse by the way). I tried every thing I could. I never stopped praying. He spent two years in prison at 18. I was always there to visit, send money, letters, cards, etc. I never gave up on him. Everyone told me to do the tough love thing but it was so hard. I always babied him through his life.
Finally I had to let go of him and do the tough love and ask him to leave the house. He was 25 at this time. He went through really tough times and today at 29 he still struggles. Just recently did he say that he has to begin again to get his life together. He just realized he has nothing and has gotten nowhere. My other children and I have great faith and have never stopped praying for him.
This is long but I wanted you to know that you are not alone. So many of us understand your pain. I had to learn to be strong and it took so long. He never hit me or cursed me so I knew there was respect for me. I still believe the pain of no father destroyed a little bit of him and I also believe that a bit of his problems are hereditary. His father was very much like him. But, I know that he has enough of me in him to survive.
Stay strong, learn tough love and if you seek help, please look for reliable sources.
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