Since you posted on the forum, I am guessing you do want input -- it is hard to give anyone else advice about their kids because every situation and every person is different but.... sticking my neck out here .... I think sending your son to grandpa's house when he misbehaved was not the answer. More than any other time, that would be a time when he would not be allowed to leave the house except to attend school. He is having a difficult time, but there has to be consequences for every action -- kids need them, they expect them, and they deserve to get them. Some consequences are good -- nice report card, treat them -- some are bad, hit your mom, you are grounded and lose TV and phone priviledges for a couple of weeks, maybe lose a favorite toy. Since violence is a problem, I would also insist on counseling. If you do not have insurance, ask at the school and I bet there are some programs they can refer you to.
I know this is hard on you, parenting is not always easy -- but you have to make sure you give him all the parenting he deserves to get. It is easy to love and dote on a well-behaved child -- but the ones messing up need it even more. If you do not get a handle on this now, what happens when he is 16?
I would like to say, "ahhhh, this is not your fault"-- but that does no one any good. The truth is we MUST take responsibility for our kids and their actions. At 11 years old, your son is needing you -- be there for him and don't turn him away. He has already been abandoned by a father, don't you give up on him too.
Sorry if this seems a little harsh, but the consequences of not being there for him are just too steep to ignore. |