 Oh, Sweetie, I am praying for your family
I hurt for all of you. Are you involved with a church? If so, there should be some men there that could help you with some fatherly guidance for your son, a youth director or pastor that could offer family counseling. I understand that money may be tight, but you just cannot afford not to get counseling of some form for your family. I have a grown son that through God's grace is doing well now, as a matter of fact, he is a youth minister, but I am here to tell you that his junior high years up until college were the most awful times of my life. His dad was working construction in California and didn't really want to spend his limited home time arguing with his teenage son. In fact, he told me ( and probably rightly so ) that if he took care of a particular problem we were facing with our son, that I should be prepared for my son to leave home. I was never ready for that so we fought it out for years, up until he came home from college one year on my birthday and told me that he had dropped out of college & was leaving to go to NC. Don't give up on him. Regrets are awfully hard to live with. Continue to do everything you can to show him that you love him & won't allow him to make decisions that are not in his best interest. If you don't give up, it may be years, but someday he will understand that you did the best you could and that you loved him even when he didn't feel loved
I do feel like you are probably right in that his anger is probably due to feelings of abandonment from the men in his life but more than likely, he doesn't know why he feels the rage that he does. A book that helped me a lot at that time was Ruth Bell Graham's "Prodigals and Those Who Love Them".
Aside from some wonderful content in the book, I think it helped me to know if Billy Graham's family had issues, ours didn't mean I wasn't a good mother.
If you would like to read that book and I can still find it, pm me and I will mail it to you. |