(((((((((((((Kitty)))))))))))))))
I'm sorry you're going through this
I have had a lot of trouble with my son, and it all started when he was 11
I think that's when the horomones kick in and they lose their minds
My son's father isn't in his life either, and I think that has a lot to do with it. My husband has been in his life since he was 3 yo, but it's not the same, I guess. Well, now he's 18, and he's been in and out of juvie, and I finally had to use tough love and kick him out. He's still working with my husband, so I see him every day, but it's still hard. He lives with one of his friends and his mother, who is a single parent, so he's having to chip in money for bills. He now realizes that he made a mistake by not listening. Anyway, my point is, sometimes you have to let them fall on their face a little bit before they realize that you're serious and that YOU know best. I know he's only 11, but living with his grandparents can't take the place of being HOME
PLEASE don't listen to your mother's critisims on your parenting skills. Things are so different than when she was raising kids, and you're doing it practically all alone. You're doing the very best you can, and I wish that she was being more supportive of you, I'm sorry
Hang in there, and stay strong. Maybe let your step mom put him in school and stay there for a while. It won't kill him, and perhaps he'll see that things were NOT so bad at home with you.