we lost our daughter to heart disease when she was 21 after having 4 open heart surgeries between 20 months and 12 yrs old. which she outlived the dr.s expectancy by 4 -5yrs. she died in my arms in her bed suddenly. she was engaged to a great young guy. after it was over, i went to the cemetery several times a day. i only have a son left who was married, and he nor my hubby wouldnt and still dont talk about it like i feel a daughter would have. one day about a week after she died i was at the cemetery,not another person there at all. i would talk to her and i was saying to her that now i feel so alone with nobody to talk to, when suddenly, with everything so quiet, i heard footsteps in the gravel drive behind me just a few feet from her grave. i thought my husband must have parked across the street from the cemetery as he would do so often and walk on over there.
so i looked around to see who was there and there wasnt anyone, just me. but i know i heard footsteps behind me about 4 steps. you dont mistake footsteps in gravel that easily for something else when its deathly quiet. i told my older sister about it and she said, maybe someone was telling me, i was NOT alone. but yet she still told me i didnt need to be over there alone that late in the evening, which i think she was right about both things, it was getting on towards dusk dark.
ive had 2 dreams about my daughter in all this time, but i wont talk about those because its too hard. because i saw and felt her in my dreams. i just will say, i can still feel exactly how her skin felt and both were so real, its like losing her all over again when i wake up and shes gone. its too hard, so i dont like to have those dreams. its been 18 yrs now and i think of her still all the time. sorry , this was so long. |