I worked for a bank for many years. In the office that I worked in, we dealt with a lot of legalities and complaints. Unfortunately, you would be the one that would be responsible for the fees - even if you tried to take her to small claims court. They would see it as your responsibility to make certain that the funds have cleared before you try to spend the money.
It does suck to be burned like that - similar things have happened to me as well. In the future, just so you know, checks can clear in a day now - so if you deposit the check into your account the same day that it's given to you, you might have a lesser chance of this happening. Or maybe a contract stating "non-refundable deposit"?
Sorry you had this happen to you.
I don't know what bank you bank with, but if you sit down and explain the situation to the branch manager, they'll most likely at least reverse SOME of the fees on their side for you.