I am so relieved that you are seeking your pastor for help in coping. You sound like there are other issues that you need to work thru.....unfortunately Lilly kinda helped you deal with other life issues. But, you know what.......with help you can get thru this.......I like a Christian Counselor.....for one thing.....they dont cost much or anything for repeated visits.......I know I used one after my first divorce....and I was broke....and second, but more important to help you work thru issues is your faith.
You are in my prayers......you can work thru this......get out that bible and start reading.....and see your pastor as much as he/she will see you. Make sure you talk about more than just Lilly.
My heart aches for you......but, we are all pulling for you.....
