My husband and I are going through this and it is a real hassle!!
You have to understand ,I am the step- grandma here so that does make a difference BUT--I am getting ahead of myself
My step son is married to a lady that I have known since she was 15 yrs.old I have known her Mother that long also
.When I first heard that they were getting married I know my mouth fell open,
whatever she wants,she gets and if she says jump,she expects you to do it NOW!!Jim,my SS and his wife got married 5 yrs. ago,the DIL had a 4 yr.old daughter by her first husband.When the DIL got pregnant her Mom took pretty much all control over how,when ,where and why.My husband and I were the only ones in the hospital when the granddaughter was born and she is totally beautiful!!IOnly because the MIL was keeping the other granddaughter at her house.Jim's daughter has just turned turned 4 and I have never babysat with her and I can truthfully say that we have not been able to visit in the sons home more than 5 or 6 times but what the MIL is there.She and her husband even go on all the vacations with the son and DIL.
There have never been any unkind words said but the FIL has at times said to MIL in a meek voice to let me or my husband have a few minutes with the granddaughter.I am keeping my mouth shut but let me tell you,if I thought for one moment that it wouldn't come back on my husband ,I would tell that MIL witch just what I have always thought of her and that is the truth!!Instead I will steam inside and watch this beautiful little girl grow up from a distance.
I am so sorry you are going through this and I pray that you all get the issue resolved and end up friends
If for no other reason than the sake of the grandchildren.