First, Congratulations on your daughter's graduation from college...I know you must be so proud of her!! That is great she did that and especially with two little kids!!
Now the other bit...my husband and I have been married 22 years. The first 12 were absolute hell (at various times, not 24/7) with inlaw or should I say outlaw probs. Finally, finally that situation eased up (they got DIL who WERE bit**** and so maybe realized I am not too bad, LOL) anyhoo...what I gained from that experience is that you are not going to change people...nope just not gonna happen!! These people will continue to make everything a 3 -5 day affair and monopolize the grandkids. And as much as your SIL loves you or respects you (I am hoping he does) he will not stand up for you with his parents (he might, but I wouldn't ever count on it) If this family does not want to "upset" the mother...they will NEVER want to upset her. So anyhow, what I am saying is you can't change them, you just can't. So my advice is to know this in advance and work it so that you get to spend the time you need to with your grandkids when they aren't part of the picture. Of if it is a big family type thing, like this graduation, just put yourself in there, go get that baby and hold her if you want too. I just don't think speaking up at the event is going to get you anywhere. And I am not blaming you at all for saying what you did...that is what you felt...I am just saying it won't accomplish what you want..(LOL, I learned this the VERY hard way) Anyway, my two cents is really that you cannot change other people, only how you react to them. Again, I offer my congrats to your whole family and hope this works out for you cause family problems really really SUCK!!
