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JeanieK · 06-25-2006, 06:08 AM

I know I can trust my YT family to give their honest opinions. I'm willing to agree that I might have been out of line. I just want other viewpoints.

This is rather long because the background is imperative to understanding the dynamics.

Yesterday was my Daughters graduation from College. She is 26 and married with two daughters, ages 1 and 2. Her inlaws consist of a mom and dad, an older unmarried sister, late 30's and an older brother 40ish married with two teenage daughters ages 13 and 16. Her inlaws manage to turn EVERY event into a 3 to 5 day affair.

Our family consists of myself and husband, a son in Wales, a daughter in Tennessee, a daughter in Wisconsin, a daughter in my same town, and the daughter I am talking about, who lives in South Dakota plus her twin sister in Kansas.

The in-laws and myself and husband all live in same area, which is 2 1/2 hour drive from the kids of this subject.

The graduation was at 2 pm, which gives plenty of time to drive from Omaha to Sioux Falls.

Two weeks ago my daughter and family were in our area for a weekend family gathering with the in-laws, we saw them for about an hour as they dropped off and picked up their dogs. The in-laws can't deal with the dogs.

A month ago they were down to visit my husband in the hospital, stayed and had supper with me then left again. We had not seen the little olnes since that time.

So for the graduation, all the inlaws went up on Friday. Like I said the always turn every event into a 3 to 5 day affair.. So they were able to visit with the grandkids Friday night and Saturday Morning, before we got there.

My daughter from Tennessee, (who has never seen the youngest child, and the other one only twice), and the twin from Kansas (Who sees the kids only on holidays) all drove up with me on Saturday and got there with just enough time to eat a mcdonalds burger and then go to graduation.

At the graduation we were all sitting in one long row. The inlaws had helped son in law with the little ones because daughter had cap and gown to deal with. Therefore the little ones were sitting with them. The 2 year old came down to me to show me her painted toenails, she was on my lap for less than 2 minutes when the 13 year old called to her and told her to go and see the 16 year old who was at the far end of the row.

I looked down the row and saw the MIL holding the 2 year old and I got pissed. So I went to her and said. "If we all are imposing ourselves on your party, we can move to somewhere else." She apparently didn't know what had taken place so I explained it to her, and told her, you all were up here last night, we are only here for the afternoon.

As a result, after the ceremony they all went home and did not go back to my daughters house for the party. This upset my SIL. My daughter told him to tell his family to stay that she didn't want them to go home, but the MIL claimed to be so upset she had to go home.

Now I admit that it may not have been the time or the place to have confronted her, but the eventual confrontation was inevitible. It was only a matter of time.

My daughter has brought this all up to her husband several times, how his family comes and stays for days and just push themselves in while when we come we come for the day and then go home. He won't talk to his mother about it because she gets so "upset".

I believe the "upset" has always been her way of controlling the family, so no one wants to "upset" her.

OK let me have it. If you need more details just ask.

06-25-2006, 06:08 AM	#1
JeanieK Donating YT 12K Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Council Bluffs Iowa Posts: 12,552	Me and my big mouth I know I can trust my YT family to give their honest opinions. I'm willing to agree that I might have been out of line. I just want other viewpoints. This is rather long because the background is imperative to understanding the dynamics. Yesterday was my Daughters graduation from College. She is 26 and married with two daughters, ages 1 and 2. Her inlaws consist of a mom and dad, an older unmarried sister, late 30's and an older brother 40ish married with two teenage daughters ages 13 and 16. Her inlaws manage to turn EVERY event into a 3 to 5 day affair. Our family consists of myself and husband, a son in Wales, a daughter in Tennessee, a daughter in Wisconsin, a daughter in my same town, and the daughter I am talking about, who lives in South Dakota plus her twin sister in Kansas. The in-laws and myself and husband all live in same area, which is 2 1/2 hour drive from the kids of this subject. The graduation was at 2 pm, which gives plenty of time to drive from Omaha to Sioux Falls. Two weeks ago my daughter and family were in our area for a weekend family gathering with the in-laws, we saw them for about an hour as they dropped off and picked up their dogs. The in-laws can't deal with the dogs. A month ago they were down to visit my husband in the hospital, stayed and had supper with me then left again. We had not seen the little olnes since that time. So for the graduation, all the inlaws went up on Friday. Like I said the always turn every event into a 3 to 5 day affair.. So they were able to visit with the grandkids Friday night and Saturday Morning, before we got there. My daughter from Tennessee, (who has never seen the youngest child, and the other one only twice), and the twin from Kansas (Who sees the kids only on holidays) all drove up with me on Saturday and got there with just enough time to eat a mcdonalds burger and then go to graduation. At the graduation we were all sitting in one long row. The inlaws had helped son in law with the little ones because daughter had cap and gown to deal with. Therefore the little ones were sitting with them. The 2 year old came down to me to show me her painted toenails, she was on my lap for less than 2 minutes when the 13 year old called to her and told her to go and see the 16 year old who was at the far end of the row. I looked down the row and saw the MIL holding the 2 year old and I got pissed. So I went to her and said. "If we all are imposing ourselves on your party, we can move to somewhere else." She apparently didn't know what had taken place so I explained it to her, and told her, you all were up here last night, we are only here for the afternoon. As a result, after the ceremony they all went home and did not go back to my daughters house for the party. This upset my SIL. My daughter told him to tell his family to stay that she didn't want them to go home, but the MIL claimed to be so upset she had to go home. Now I admit that it may not have been the time or the place to have confronted her, but the eventual confrontation was inevitible. It was only a matter of time. My daughter has brought this all up to her husband several times, how his family comes and stays for days and just push themselves in while when we come we come for the day and then go home. He won't talk to his mother about it because she gets so "upset". I believe the "upset" has always been her way of controlling the family, so no one wants to "upset" her. OK let me have it. If you need more details just ask.