What an AMAZING man you are!
May I adopt you???
You have tolerated a lot in the interest of remaining true to yourself, and I respect you so much for that. But honey, to not share your loss of a loved one because of your relationship is not right. I can understand how timid you may feel about it because you are sweet to be concerned about OTHER people's feelings, but Mikey, you need to give YOUR loved ones the honor of comforting you.
I have asked my son on more than one occasion if he is gay. He always laughs and says, "Mom, stop it, if I were, I would certainly tell you!" He knows that I would accept him in all ways, shapes, and forms he decides to take because I am his mother and I adore him no matter what. I would hope that your mom would feel the same.
My condolences on the loss of your troubled ex-boyfriend. It's so sad when people end their own lives.
And Mikey, MOVE out of MS, honey chile!!! You need to move to Boston, or NJ, or San Francisco!! Life will be WONDERFUL in a world that accepts YOU for what YOU ARE!! Just like we do!!
HUGS!