Hi Mikey,
First off, you are not a freak. You are a wonderful, clearly intelligent, loving human being. Secondly, there is nothing wrong with being gay. NOTHING. I'm so sorry that your x-boyfriend passed and that you were unable to share that with anyone in your family. I live in Los Angeles and most people are very tolerant here. I think its very different where you live and I'm sorry for that. People are ignorant and because of it they make poor decisions and lash out in horrible, inexcusable ways.
Continue to be who you are and don't ever be ashamed of it. I am very impressed with the way you handled that ugly situation with the rednecks. When times are tough at least you have your beautiful baby yorkie
All my best,
Adryana