[She-ra's Mama]

It has been over a month since She-Ra passed away. It still feels like a bad dream. Every Wed. I have a bad day, I guess that since she passed on that day, I think of it more. I visit her grave daily, I know she isn't there, but still I go. Everyone says, It will get better, just wait. But when does it?? I haven't hurt this bad since 1995, that is when my best friend died in a car accident. I still "hurt" over his loss. She-Ra was a one of a kind girl. She loved life and everyone in it. She didn't know what a stranger was. Always a mother hen to the puppies she was around. When we got Harley, she mothered him so much, he would hide from her! There are so many good memories, but all I keep thinking is how I should've been a better mom, I should've took her to a different vet as soon as I felt something wasn't right. I live with that regret everyday. It isn't fair. She shouldn't have had to go so soon. I have never loved a dog like I loved her, she was like one of my daughters. Yesterday, I took her sweater and was putting it in my curio, with her collar, and I found little She-Ra hairs in it. Oh how I miss cleaning the bathtub after she got a bath, there was always little black hairs in the drain. Then she would jump out a go crazy in the bathroom, rubbing on anything that would dry her. She was a special dog, never bite or snapped at anyone. Loved my girls and tolerated anything. Her favorite spot at night was on daddy's lap, and bedtime at my feet. Sometimes, I can even feel her jump up on the bed...

Sorry this is so long. Thanks for reading.

Amanda