Hi all,
Thank you so much for your input and the " You can do its!" I love the support with stories and suggestions. Tonight is better, Im eerily calm again, so happy Im not smoking but still craving a burst of nicotine off and on, a cigarette was the beginning and the end to almost every task I did. Driving, loading the dish washer, unloading the dishwasher, putting the kids down for a nap, getting the kids up from a nap, thinking about folding the laundry, finishing folding the laundry, thinking about starting dinner, finishing fixing dinner............just a few examples.......I smoked for all occasions if allowed.....then it lost its so called good effect so I smoked not only before a task and after but DURING the task too! I never did feel better........would you beleive I started to feel worse?!!.......Sometimes I couldnt enjoy an outing that didnt allow smoking because it took to long and since you cant smoke everywhere anymore, alot of times I couldnt wait to get out and smoke so whatever I was doing no matter how much fun it was to me I didnt enjoy it at the end because I wanted a cigarette. THat is all I wanted , a cigarette to give me a blast of nicotine to calm the craving.
That is the power of addiction.
For some reason it helps me to talk about "the monkey on my back" Guess Im trying to talk him down! He sure is stubborn! But Im beating his hairy butt right now! Ill beat it
again tomorrow too!
Damn Monkey.
