Let me carry on. I grieved a lot. I sat stunned looking at a black screen. The memories unfolded like a kaleidescope. Silent tears rolled down. I merely brushed them away. I took a week off work. I dare not drive. So I sat. Just walked my Yorkie once a day.
Slowly very slowly I reentered life. But I still remember my big boy Magic. A large very loving Black Russian. A superlative guard dog. I had few fears when I was with him.
You just make yourself do. Make a self deal, no thoughts just this task. After that I will griev or remember, or sob whatever. I visited places he loved. Had picnics with my others and always set a place for him. I too still have his toys. My Dara and Razzle love them. But neither one enters his big crate. It sits beside me just like it has in the previous 16+ years.
That comforts me. Who knows if I will be blessed with a large Backie male again:
