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Old 06-05-2017, 01:16 AM   #16
Wylie's Mom
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
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Originally Posted by FlyingNimbus View Post
I understand what you mean about keeping a good relationship with neighbors-- it's a symbiotic thing (mutual benefit).. I am just not really much the best talker, I can be rather awkward and sometimes I just don't get certain things. Which in the end tends to annoy some people. I usually avoid being overly social with people from the history I've had with people. While I am in one way rather complex, in another way I am rather straight laced which also sets a lot of people off. I have very strong moral values, and from what it seems sometimes people say they have good moral values but in reality "They have good moral values-- when it benefits or doesn't interfere with them". There's plenty of other stuff...

I sort of chose to be alone on purpose because quite frankly I can't always tell when someone is being themselves, or if they're just putting on some kind of mask which reveals something horrible and possibly lead to physically dangerous situations- to which I want no part of. I avoid issues, because I don't want to cause a burden on those around me. I don't want my problems to be thrown on to their laps.

There's plenty of people that are good out there, and I believe that the majority of people probably are good or have some goodness in them. But the fact remains that I can't easily tell who is okay and who is not okay that easily.

I guess I was told a few times by people I don't even remember now when I was young that everything can go alright most of the times, but it only takes that 1% of the time for you to get really messed up. Or something along those lines. Person who told me that was a worrywort.

Which translates into why I even wanted a dog in the first place, while I am not 100% alone in human contact (outside of business, family, etc) as I have a very shallow pool of people I can call friends or acquaintances...

Having a dog very much loosens up the tension in me and calms me down a lot. For some reason I also believed that having a dog could give me even an opportunities to meet new people and potentially make more friends, but in reality deep down I just wanted a dog to ease the loneliness, and my emotions.

I feel like I should get to know the neighbor more but anytime I try I freeze up and/or space out. Mostly because of the past history with the last neighbors whom I didnt even communicate with and where rather... well.. not good.

Sorry for the rant but I figured that whole thing would explain it at some point.


Tl;dr : while I want to socialize with the neighbor they're way older than I am and while they're old enough to be my grandparents-- I feel nervous whenever I tried to talk to them. The most I got out of myself was a Hi/Hello, and a wave.

I quickly go in once their dog starts barking and mine responds (or vice versa)

---

In response to the second message about walking on the grass- I just went with my brother on his car to check out the neighborhood. It's actually pretty cozy, we're 5minutes from the lake (did not know that) for an odd reason I thought the lake would be farther and this would be more of a suburban jungle. It's more country than suburbs.
I think it's awesome you opened up about this - thanks for sharing this insight into yourself .

It's okay to be who you are; if you're not ready to have the kind of relationships w/ your neighbors that others describe -that's cool! That's your prerogative.

I honestly think that with time, maybe your confidence will continue to grow, making it a bit easier each time you have to interact with neighbors or whoever.

My only thought/hope for you is that you *don't* shut down more - that instead, you let yourself trust a few people and allow yourself to continue to open up like you are here - I think it's great / positive.
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