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Originally Posted by capt_noonie  Oh man you guys all have me tearing up!
Yes I do feel that their presence is with us. The funny thing is that Toto and Scrappy's personalities are almost identical, and we always say Toto is Scrappy reincarnated, although they are nearly the same age and it would be impossible. Not only their personality, but the sound of their barks are the same. When we had to put Scrappy down we closed up our shop for a week. We could not deal with it, and of course could not run a business after that either. Scrappy and Uni and whatever dogs we were fostering were a big part of our shop with them being there everyday, so our customers were very understanding with us being closed for a while. My biggest regret still is not holding Scrappy as he passed. I just could not get myself to do it. Whenever I am scared to do something, I force myself to do it, but for some reason I could not do it and I still don't know why I didn't. |
Never feel that you failed your boy. Staying with your baby to the very end is very traumatic, it stays with you forever. One of my babies passed while in vet hospital, she passed alone, I was devastated because of this. Another passed while at home, I saw her going into rooms she would never go into unless I was there, she was acting very strange, she was not sick, then I realized I had not seen her for 45 minutes, so I went looking for her, I found her dead in the den, I was heart broken and realized what she had been doing was looking for a place to lie down and die. Another baby passing away alone. In 2005 my 3rd baby had kidney problems, was at the vet hospital for 5 days, early evening the tech called me, suggested I come to see my Schnae, it was not visiting hours, I had a strange feeling as I was driving to the vet. When I got there my sweet baby was huddled in the corner of the crate. The tech told me she had kidney failure and was in much pain, she said you have to make a decision. I took my baby from the crate, cuddled her, kissing, stroking her, she started pulling away from me, she wanted to go back in the crate. I told the tech if she prefers the crate over me she deathly sick. I couldn't let her suffer any more. She was the first baby I was with until the very end. It was very traumatic for me, but, she was held, and loved and did not pass alone as the others did. And the same for my last girl, she was with her mama up to the very end. 2005, 2013 both are as vivid as if it was just yesterday. This is not an easy thing to do or go through. Never feel bad, guilty, or feel that you failed as a mama about your decision. Everyone handles death in diff. ways.