 New Fur-Baby
So...I, we, are in the process of getting a new little fur-baby. I have so many mixed emotions over this decision. I loved my Freado more than life, we all did. He was a Son to my Husband and a younger Brother sibling to my Daughter. For me, those 14 years go so much deeper. It's a strange feeling to try and explain, it's so deep inside my body and mind. There is this little space that is empty, vacant, hollow, sad, and yet, that space also feels, for the lack of any better words, dead, lifeless. Since Freado has been gone sometimes it's hard to smile, or just be happy. I have a most wonderful life. Not a single complaint. A super fantastic Husband and Daughter, good friends, and so many new adventures just starting, with Husband retiring and Daughter graduating from college, but there's that little vacant hole still there. I am not expecting our new little one, Franchessca, to fill that hole, I always want it to be there, if for nothing but to be a reminder of what I once had with my special little man. With all of this said, there is a kind of excitement and nervousness that has been building. I'm actually having a hard time just waiting to get her home and in my arms! It's been a long time since we've raised a child, whether it be of the human or furry variety. It seems like we've been pretty good at it so far, so I feel pretty confident we'll be ok. However, deep down inside, similar to or maybe even in that same little space, there is just a hint of doubt. Most people, who know me would laugh at my self doubt. They know what a lover-spoiler I am and have been to my fur-children. I've been told more than once, "If I die, I'd like to come back as one of your pets!". I guess that's the difference, they aren't just pets, but a true part of our family. As of now, I will continue to grieve, and soon I will be grieving with a little fur-baby next to me, helping me through a tough time in my life. That is something Freado would have done and did do for me.
Thanks ~ B |