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danniko · 11-08-2015, 10:35 AM

I know this is going to be long and seem strange but I don't know where else to turn. Please don't laugh.

I know people will think it's not possible to be too attached to their dog but I know for a fact I am and it is starting to destroy my marriage, my health and probably hers as well.

2009 was a horrible year for me. In April my grandpa was diagnosed with lung cancer, my mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in May and then my grandma passed away unexpectedly in June. I was looking at puppies to try and focus on something else and saw Sophie. I fell in love instantly and went out to see her and 2 hours later had put a deposit on her and brought her home a week later.

My mom fell in complete love with her and some days the only reason my mom laughed was because of Sophie.

Fast forward to 2012. My husband and I had moved quite a few times by this point, I had quit my job and I had lost all of my friends since I was the caregiver to my mom.

My mom was moved to hospice care in January 2012 and we could bring Sophie and I brought her every time we went. One Friday, Sophie and I were the last people to ever have a coherent conversation with her. We laughed and my mom shared her final ice cream cup with Sophie and snuggle and then she passed away the following Monday.

Six weeks later...my grandpa passed away, one of my aunts was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and the I was diagnosed with a few things that have affected my fertility. So not only did I lose my mom, I found out I will likely never be a mom.

She had her knee surgeries done in 2013 and then a repaired CCL in 2014. My husband and I moved into our own place finally and we have been dealing with her lack of appetite for the last 6 months. She has always had off days with food - sometimes she just gets tired of her food, other times she just won't eat anything. I have gotten so in tune with her that I don't know if it happened as often before I just never noticed. She used to only eat her kibble at midnight and nothing during the day - so sometimes when she doesn't want to eat she doesn't eat until midnight or 1am, so it is possible I just didn't notice some days.

We have run countless blood panels, x-rays, ultrasound, pancreas testing, tested for Addison's Disease and everything has come back fine and the vet has tried to reassure me she just is really sensitive and prone to gas. The vet is not concerned and we have spoken to 5 other vets - 3 from the same practice and 2 from different practices. So I should be confident in them, and some days I am.

The days she doesn't eat I bawl all day and worry and don't eat either. My husband and I can't afford to keep rushing her to the vet - and the vet has said to give her 24 hours and if she doesn't eat by the bring her in. We have spent thousands on her, tried countless diets and she does fine for awhile and then it starts again. My husband gets mad because I am so invested in her that I have spent all of our money on her and we can't afford to do anything else (like repair our car) because I just keep spending money that we don't have on her.

I get it, I do. But I love her so much that I drive her insane. I wake her up every time she twitches, I try and feed her all day on the days she won't eat. I constantly pick at her and feel her for lumps and bumps and then I don't focus on anything else until it is gone. I know it stresses her out but I don't know how to stop it, I don't let her out of my sight in case she licks the floor and I barely take her outside in case she gets sick. I know most of this is irrational, but I don't know how to stop.

I cry everyday knowing that one day I won't have her and she is 6 and the vet has said she is healthy. She has arthritis, she had a dental in June and came out of the anesthetic fine. She doesn't vomit or have diarrhea but I get myself so worked up and then she tries to comfort me and that just stresses her out more.

I don't work, I don't have friends, I live 45mins from my dad and an hour from my other aunt and my husband takes the car to work so I can't get anywhere. I really don't know what to do.

I have tried talking to my doctor but she informed she is "just a dog" and I should just stop worrying about her. I know she is a dog but she has gotten me through so many things and I have no one else around me for 45 hours a week and my husband and I barely talk right now because he knows she is the most important being in my life and is angry that I seem to care more about her than him...and he has every right to be.

If you read to here, thank you so much. Does anyone have any ideas how I can love Sophie without being so overbearing and nervous about her?

11-08-2015, 10:35 AM	#1
danniko YT Addict Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 342	Too attached... I know this is going to be long and seem strange but I don't know where else to turn. Please don't laugh. I know people will think it's not possible to be too attached to their dog but I know for a fact I am and it is starting to destroy my marriage, my health and probably hers as well. 2009 was a horrible year for me. In April my grandpa was diagnosed with lung cancer, my mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in May and then my grandma passed away unexpectedly in June. I was looking at puppies to try and focus on something else and saw Sophie. I fell in love instantly and went out to see her and 2 hours later had put a deposit on her and brought her home a week later. My mom fell in complete love with her and some days the only reason my mom laughed was because of Sophie. Fast forward to 2012. My husband and I had moved quite a few times by this point, I had quit my job and I had lost all of my friends since I was the caregiver to my mom. My mom was moved to hospice care in January 2012 and we could bring Sophie and I brought her every time we went. One Friday, Sophie and I were the last people to ever have a coherent conversation with her. We laughed and my mom shared her final ice cream cup with Sophie and snuggle and then she passed away the following Monday. Six weeks later...my grandpa passed away, one of my aunts was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and the I was diagnosed with a few things that have affected my fertility. So not only did I lose my mom, I found out I will likely never be a mom. She had her knee surgeries done in 2013 and then a repaired CCL in 2014. My husband and I moved into our own place finally and we have been dealing with her lack of appetite for the last 6 months. She has always had off days with food - sometimes she just gets tired of her food, other times she just won't eat anything. I have gotten so in tune with her that I don't know if it happened as often before I just never noticed. She used to only eat her kibble at midnight and nothing during the day - so sometimes when she doesn't want to eat she doesn't eat until midnight or 1am, so it is possible I just didn't notice some days. We have run countless blood panels, x-rays, ultrasound, pancreas testing, tested for Addison's Disease and everything has come back fine and the vet has tried to reassure me she just is really sensitive and prone to gas. The vet is not concerned and we have spoken to 5 other vets - 3 from the same practice and 2 from different practices. So I should be confident in them, and some days I am. The days she doesn't eat I bawl all day and worry and don't eat either. My husband and I can't afford to keep rushing her to the vet - and the vet has said to give her 24 hours and if she doesn't eat by the bring her in. We have spent thousands on her, tried countless diets and she does fine for awhile and then it starts again. My husband gets mad because I am so invested in her that I have spent all of our money on her and we can't afford to do anything else (like repair our car) because I just keep spending money that we don't have on her. I get it, I do. But I love her so much that I drive her insane. I wake her up every time she twitches, I try and feed her all day on the days she won't eat. I constantly pick at her and feel her for lumps and bumps and then I don't focus on anything else until it is gone. I know it stresses her out but I don't know how to stop it, I don't let her out of my sight in case she licks the floor and I barely take her outside in case she gets sick. I know most of this is irrational, but I don't know how to stop. I cry everyday knowing that one day I won't have her and she is 6 and the vet has said she is healthy. She has arthritis, she had a dental in June and came out of the anesthetic fine. She doesn't vomit or have diarrhea but I get myself so worked up and then she tries to comfort me and that just stresses her out more. I don't work, I don't have friends, I live 45mins from my dad and an hour from my other aunt and my husband takes the car to work so I can't get anywhere. I really don't know what to do. I have tried talking to my doctor but she informed she is "just a dog" and I should just stop worrying about her. I know she is a dog but she has gotten me through so many things and I have no one else around me for 45 hours a week and my husband and I barely talk right now because he knows she is the most important being in my life and is angry that I seem to care more about her than him...and he has every right to be. If you read to here, thank you so much. Does anyone have any ideas how I can love Sophie without being so overbearing and nervous about her?