I am so sorry for you loss. I could almost feel the pain in your heart when I read your note. We love our little ones so much and want to do everything possible to do what is right for them it is natural to wonder if we could have or should have done something different. Your baby had 14 years with you and helped you through difficult times in your life. He was your "rock"and you must feel lost without him. But you absolutely did the right thing for him. He trusted you to make the right decisions for him at the end as you had all along his life. He knew you were there with him which is what he needed more than anything else in the world. My heart aches for you because I know how much you must miss him. It also aches because my 15 year old boy was just diagnosed with prostate cancer two weeks ago and I am having to make difficult choices also. I am afraid of making the wrong ones too. His condition is not now critical like your baby''s was but I fear as time goes on (as there is no cure, only 9-12 months at best) when it will become so, wait too long causing suffering or end his little life too soon. So I understand completely how you second guess your decision. But I do believe with the cardiac problem causing the airway issues which can be so acute, you had to go with your gut....you didn't let him suffer. You let him rest and he is at peace. My heart goes out to you. I hope when it's my time I can be as strong as you. Betsy |