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Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly  Nothing scary about turning 30 and being your own woman, free to work, date, travel, have friends and family in anytime you choose! And you've got little Bentley! Who needs some psycho who has a hair trigger? I wouldn't stand for one word of cursing from any man - never did, never will.
This guy is a total control freak - the obsessive texting and desperately insisting you give him a second chance is a dead giveaway that he's an obsessive manipulator - can't STAND any form of female rejection - especially from someone silly enough to spill milk and otherwise reveal she's less than perfect. He's thinking: "How dare she reject ME!!! I'm God's gift. She's just a silly woman. She's not going to be able to just walk out on me - uh uh. I'll get her back and control the way this ends and in my own way". If you go out with him, it could be your last.
Don't you watch "Dateline" or any of those shows about obsessive suitors - the guy who just overwhelms you with attention, always checking on you, saying all the right things, constantly in touch, buying you gifts, showering you with the seeming affection so many woman seem to long for? Trouble is, the guys seem to have hair and I do mean hair trigger tempers. Usually these guys are such obsessive perfectionists that the first sign they see that the woman they are with isn't just perfect seems to press all their buttons and then they have to have you under their control, to themselves on a date, so they can groom you further until they begin to rush marriage - or worse. And then they punish you are your shortcomings.
Block this guy from your phone. Change your number. Get a big, mean guard dog, a gun you learn how to use and alarm system. Tell all your family and friends what he's doing and let him know you did. Don't ever go out alone or open the door to anyone you cannot identify through the peephole and always be aware of your surroundings when out and about. Don't ever give this guy another moment of your time or you could be another statistic. Tell him if he doesn't leave you alone, you might have to show all his texts, phone records of his calls, to the police department and file harassment charges against him. No one needs a guy like this - not ever. |
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Originally Posted by GuinnessStout Take it from somebody that is 40 and still "single" that if he did it once he will do it again and again... and each month or years that go by and you stay justifying it with the he was sweet and loving that week or month his hurtful words will get worse and worse but by then you tell yourself well it's been 1 year I can handle the words and I have wasted this much time I might as well stay... 10 years later you are still there and your self-esteem is GONE...
Don't be that woman and make excuses just to have somebody!! |
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Originally Posted by yorkiemini Bentleysmom,
This whole behavior is called "grooming" - sucking you in!
You witnessed/heard his behavior! Your gut feeling is important - don't ignore that! He know what he said and he felt free to say it.
He wants you to doubt yourself. Anyone who talks to you like that is NOT THE ONE!
I did not marry until I was in my my late thirties - was very career oriented and very picky about how I wanted to be treated - didn't ruin my life in the least! In fact I had many friends who married young tell me I was smart!
When I did marry my husband never talked to me like that even once! And we both had our good days and bad days.
I want you to think more of yourself!!! You are too important to Bentley and you two have a great thing going.
Listen to what other experienced folks on here are saying to you and don't be in a hurry! |
Take this advise, follow your gut feeling, this man cannot take rejection, you are playing with your LIFE. Your gut is telling you nooooooo, listen to it, not your heart. My niece,my cousins girls all married past 30 y/o, married beautiful men, had children. Never settle, never sell yourself short. Returning to this man shows a sign of weakness, he will play you, tear away your self confidence, do you think so little of your self? Stay strong PLEASE. No meeting no where, no time. Block him so you don't see his text messages, better yet, do as a member advised, change your # PLEASE.