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Originally Posted by DBlain  Sometimes I wonder why I even bother posting an honest reply since so often people jump to their own conclusions and misread what is typed.
First off to pass judgement and to be accurate in your assement you would have to have lived in my sister's home for the past 15 years which obviously you have not. Secondly your situation like every situation is different from each other, so you can not compare one to the other. I am glad your adoption went well. Are you the same race as your adoptive parents? If not then you really have NO knowledge of what it is to grow up looking nothing like your parents, of knowing every time you introduce someone to your mom they know right off the bat your are adopted. Some kids are not bothered by this but some like my niece are. Also you make a comparison between your mother and my mother which is not the same since my mother is the grandmother, not the child's mother, BIG difference especially since my mother had to watch years of turmoil in my sister's home. NO where in my post did I say my sister has done nothing but support and love her child. If you only knew how much she has done and how she lost so much of her life and money loving and trying to find the daughter the help she needs you would be ashamed by your comments. Since she was a toddler she was in early intervention, speech therapy, peer counseling, horse back riding, art class, family therapy, my sister quit a $100,000 plus job to stay at home to see if that would be better for her daughter. Now she is getting divorced mostly because her and her husband have been at odds over the daughter. My sister now hardly has any money of her own so for a period of time had to move back to my parents home, but when her daughter would come to stay the temper tantrums, the screaming, the door slamming and so forth got to much for my 85 year old parents to live with so for the sake of their health I asked my sister to move back into her own home. So because my family, which means my parents (the grandparents) my aunt and uncle and my cousin have watched my sister from a distance sort of go through the ringer trying to be a good parent we all can't help but wonder a little and sometimes to each other what it would have been like had no adoption taken place, my sister has never said this and we have not said it to her, but we are only human and can not help but wonder. |
There was actually something very telling in your previous post.
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If you want a closed adoption it is almost impossible to find a newborn
white baby, so my sister choose to adopt a one year old girl from China.
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Why did your sister want a closed adoption? These days, if an adoptive wants a closed adoption, it is usually a sign of insecurity and fear. That insecurity and fear may have affected her parenting and not allowed her daughter to be herself.
Just a thought.