Hello Claire,
I know that feeling you are going thru as I picked up the ashes last Wednesday. I also felt a bit better, put the urn on a shelf where I can see it, and I lit up first candle beside it last Saturday. Now, comes to what to do next, here are some ideas:
10 Amazing Things Your Ashes Can Do After You Die | Mental Floss
As for me, I think I just keep the little urn where it is for now and when I return to Canada I will bury it and plant a tree on the grave. That is my plan.
Peter