Quote:
Originally Posted by Oddsock  Not saying I've never been part of the problem, but would like to be part of the solution.
Sometimes it's not what is said, but how it's said. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
I'm a better dog/animal owner now, than I was as a teen or young woman, even though my intent, love, respect for animals hasn't changed. We all start at a different place, with different levels of knowledge and experience.
A newbie coming here, especially with a pregnant dog, or dog in need....well we've all seen them never reply or return after some of the things they are told (some wouldn't return, no matter what, but some leave due to the way they are treated). We are all here because we love the dogs, to get the best for the dogs, By being respectful of the human, and at times of how we say things, we are more likely to effect change for the dog in question.
Yes we have different styles, some of us are more direct (I need to improve) , but sometimes walking on egg shells is needed, for the sake of the dog. Not saying somethings, not judging/condemning for the sake of the dog, we want to help.
It would be good, to have volunteers, I think. ie like some forums have to 'welcome' new members. To have a group, who offers help to new members with pregnant dogs. A group for new members with sick dogs. Not saying other members don't join in, but maybe it would help, with a situation we keep seeing repeated here.
People are more open to listening, if they feel you care. |
I think I've missed any and all drama around here lately. But, I just popped into this thread and only read the first and last page (so I'm probably missing a lot) but I definitely agree with this post.
I still remember when I first joined and how I felt. When I posted about my new puppy I was so excited about, one of the first replies was something alone the lines of "oh, normally puppies don't come home until 12 weeks" and I can remember thinking "Well GEEZ way to spoil my happiness!" and I was kind of upset about it, but once a bunch of other people came on wishing me well and excited for my puppy, I decided to stay. One of my second posts was about rib bones and how excited I was that Jackson liked them! A few worrisome replies honestly made me roll my eyes... like oh these overprotective people just don't know a dog is a dog.
NOW, of *course* I know these things were well intentioned and that I was the idiot, LOL, and I myself now try to give solid advice to newbies or people with questions. But I am just saying I still remember that feeling of only being here for a week or two and feeling very easily threatened in MY mind (even if it was stupid... and thankfully, I quickly learned). But I think of how much I *wouldn't* have learned or wouldn't know now if I decided to just not be a part of YT anymore because of a post that hurt my feelings. And honestly? Like I said, the reasons were extremely stupid, I had no reasons for feeling threatened really, but I did.
So no, I don't think we need to walk on egg shells to be a part of a forum. And we should be able to be honest, truthful and give advice. But I think sometimes we as animal lovers are so quick to judge because we love these animals so much that sometimes we forget about the humans behind the screen.
And like the post says above ^ I've loved animals since, well, since the day I was born (or at least can remember) and looking back, I cringe at some of the things we allowed to happen or let go with our previous pets. But we weren't abusive, the dogs lived happy lives for the most part, and we truly deeply loved them. A person who comes on here with a pregnant female who got impregnated by her neighbors poodle (random example, don't know if really happened) and doesn't believe in spaying/neutering and has 5 unaltered pets - are they "bad" pet owners or do they just not know any better? Immediately telling them 'GO GET THEM FIXED!' isn't going to solve the problem. It will probably just run them off and they'll continue living the way they are. I'm not saying act happy for them or fake your personality or lie or anything like that. Just maybe don't immediately jump to what we know as the obvious solution, but they may not.
I'm kind of rambling all over the place and honestly don't even know where this thread stems from sooo.... -steps out quietly-