[yorkietalkjilly]

I know it won't help you for right now but what you are feeling is normal and eventually subsides. Nothing really helps grief but the passing of time. Sadly, there are no short cuts or quick fixes to healing other than the things you are already doing - talking about what happened as much as you feel the need, expressing your emotions and pain and taking some steps to properly memorialize our loved one and returning to your routine activities, as hard as that is at first. Some people even go to psychologists or support groups to talk their grief out and seek human understanding of what is happening. But your intense feelings will grow less painful and in time, good memories will begin to flood out the bad things that are pretty constant now. After a while, somehow our bodies and minds cannot tolerate the sadness and pain anymore and begin to push us into a better frame of mind, more activity and you want to feel better again and hope returns. It's a survival technique we've been born with and it's how people keep on going and moving forward despite all the tragedies we cope with in our lives throughout the generations. It's not much help now, but it slowly gets better and your desire to smile will come back one day.