[tutters]

This past Tuesday (the day before I had to put Jake to sleep), I was taking him to the vet and was getting ready to go. My enclosed porch has a tile floor, and I was holding him in a towel. Kiri (my little York girl) got underfoot, and as I was getting her out of the way, Jake slipped out of my arms and landed on the floor.
When we got to the vet, they checked him over and said that, other than the fact that his health had deteriorated so much from the CRF, he didn't seem hurt. And when the vet put him to sleep yesterday, they did find a vein, so I guess there probably wasn't internal bleeding. But I feel so horribly awful, guilty. I can't forgive myself for this. I would never, ever hurt him. And here on the next to last day of his life, I dropped him. I keep looking at the spot on the porch and hating myself. Please, if anyone can help me, I need help because I feel so bad that I just wish I could die and be with him.