Oh my God, this is so horrible to read. Terrible accidents are just going to happen in life, and there is no turning the arrow of time backwards to fix them. I wish I even knew what to say; I remember the guilt my brother carried when he accidentally suffocated our pug in his sleep with the blanket. But he is an awesome person and you sound like you are too. Accidents, sometime with tragic consequences, happen to the best of us. Hugs to you, and please, cry all day if need be because you need to get that sadness out and not bottle it in when losing such a beloved family member. It's supposed to hurt this bad to lose someone you truly love.
