Any guy this controlling now when they are not living together and has a woman doing this much for him now would make her life miserable if they ever did live together or marry and certainly as he gets older, more dependent on her, he'll get even worse at all the things he's doing at a relatively young age. She sounds like she's a codependent in every way and the sooner she can leave this guy in her rearview mirror, the better. If the service has any counselor or psychological counseling, I'd encourage her to get it in the guise of trying to help her decide about her future deployment vs. staying here. Maybe a counselor could help her to see what he really is - a guy in trouble who will just give her misery.
__________________  Jeanie and Tibbe One must do the best one can. You may get some marks for a very imperfect answer: you will certainly get none for leaving the question alone. C. S. Lewis |