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Originally Posted by Deb1  Just for your information.....this guy she is involved with is a control freak which means, he will eventually become abusive....verbally, emotionally and physically. I know the type from experience. He already has her feeling sorry for him and his "illness" and reasons for not working. He is an alcoholic if he has 2 DWI's and lost his license. Creates reasons to not work and support himself. He is trying to control her going to Africa because he knows that she may find someone or something that makes her happy.
I will pray that she makes the right decision and goes to Africa! |
Took the words out of my mouth. Huge red flags are waving!
Michele, I feel for you...it is so hard because things you resist do persist. If you really come down on this, it will make her want it more.
There are some things you can try.
It would be wonderful if you could get her to an Alanon meeting...maybe just say in a matter of fact way that her b/f clearly has some issues with his drinking and while she may not see that as a problem, she should at the very least learn something about it. (she would get an earful at a meeting if you could get her there)
Something else....ask her to take a piece of paper out and make two columns and write down how this relationship is affecting her...one side pros the other side cons. Suggest it in a non threatening way...just matter of fact and tell her you don't want to see it...you are merely suggesting it as food for thought.
And...ask her if it were her best friend in this relationship, would she encourage it.
Lastly, pray for her. I believe in the power of prayer. I am sure you are probably already doing that. I will definitely keep her and you in mine.