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Originally Posted by Mahmouha  Oh John, I am so touched. You remembered me amidst your pain. I hope you are doing better. I could not communicate with anyone. I felt suicidal, I know I sound like a looney.
I feel like I have a dagger in my heart... The world suddenly is no fun, I have no urge to get out of bed. Tootsie made me want to do things. I am so lonely. I preferred spending time with her than anyone else, I had stopped going to the movies because she is not allowed. I only went to restaurants that allow her in. My life will never be the same without her. Sorry, I guess this is not helping. I hope we both get over this pain. |
You're not a looney for being deeply hurt by losing such a great friend. Or maybe if you are, then I am too, because losing Minnie was the lowest of lows I have ever felt. I know how crushing it can be to see your pup extremely sick, then do a huge 180 and look great, and then turn downhill fast. With Minnie, she was vomiting and on death's door one morning, we got her into the vet for 2 nights of IVs and the day after we brought her home she looked amazing and about 85% of normal, so we were hoping she just got poisoned by something (e.g., eating a poisonous toad or maybe the wrong plant), so that she would recover (our vet said is was possible, though the more likely explanation was that her kidneys were failing -- he was right
). And then the next day she went downhill, nosedived the night after, and died the following night.
And there was nothing we could do about it (we were in the vet's office and the ER almost every day that week). Saddest moment of my life was bringing her body back home from the ER; I have never cried like I did then.
Yorkietalk was one of my rocks to lean on though when I felt like I was going to fall over from the pain. I mean nothing whatsoever cures the sadness, but at least coming in here and reading about everyone who has loved a pup the way we have brought a little happiness to me. I hope it can for you in this most difficult of times. Hugs, and please try to remember all the great times you had with Tootsie. I know it's so hard not to see the end in your mind right now (I would constantly see Minnie in the seizure that killed her), but please try to fight through that to see the good times. If something I remembered made me just want to break down and cry, I would, but then I'd remember a happy memory after.