[impish]

John, when you get out of the immense fog of grief, you will realize that we do the best we can. It sounds to me as if you have been a very very vigilant father to Elvis - how many dogs survive that many pancreatic attacks?

Just as a layperson - I don't think there was anything more you could have done. Sometimes bodies just stop working and it sounds as if both of you were fighters for a very long time.

Be kind to yourself.

I get the thing about being more upset in some ways over Elvis than your father. My theory with that - is it's not really measuring one or the other - it's that our pets are so physically entwined to every day actions in addition to our emotional hearts that it's a much more visceral loss when we lose a baby like this. That's how I explained it to myself anyway when I lost my Max and then three family members in a fairly short timespan.

Please keep reaching out.

and while you will never be able to replace Elvis - because you just can't with special pets, you may find room in your heart to love another that will help you heal a bit and distract you from the pain - when the time is right - whenever that is.

God bless.

Nicole