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Originally Posted by cheryl000 Wow, this is a hard one. I am an aunt and a mother too. I think it's great that you took her daughter in, as I would do the same for all of my nephews. I think that you should be a little easier on her on the potty training issue. She is going through a very stressful time, when people come into and out of a child's life. The last thing she needs is to feel bad about her self and be spanked. I would try to use more positive reinforcement than negative with her. Give her a treat, like some kool-aid, candy, cookies, or a toy right after she does go potty. I would not yell at her or hit if she does have an accident, but talk to her and explain to her that big girls go in the potty and alot of other talking.
As for her mother, do you keep alot of pictures around for her daughter to see? I would try to get a video of her to play or some kind of sound recorder. Those trips will be very hard on everyone, but what happened with her mom is something the mother needs to see. Her mother needs to see how all of this is affecting her child. Hopefully this will help her stay out of jail when she finally gets out and give her a reason to stay clean. As for the daughter, try to make it easier on her, speak happily about going on the visits, take her out for ice cream after wards as some type of reward. Try not to cry around her, kids can sense the mood around them. Kids say a lot of things they don't mean just to get attention she doesn't hate her mother, she is just mad that she's not getting what she wants and she doesn't understand. Definately keep talking to her and let her know how much everyone loves her. Good luck |
Thank you for your advise. Yes we have pictures out and she talks to them. And she thnks her mommy hates her. She just told Des that her mommy does not want her. We hare trying to talk to her about her mother. Like "Your mommy loves you and she can't wait to be with you"
I feel really bad with the spanking thing! I was frustrated and took it out on her. It must be so hard on her and I have to understand that. I thought it was being bounced from place to place that was giving us the hard time training. But now that we got it down I have to realize that we are going to have accidents here and there. And little things like this can put a set back on some issues like potty training. I can't tell you all how much this means to me. I can say that letting this out and listening/reading to what you all have to say it's really helping me deal. Thanks again!