Wow, this is a hard one. I am an aunt and a mother too. I think it's great that you took her daughter in, as I would do the same for all of my nephews. I think that you should be a little easier on her on the potty training issue. She is going through a very stressful time, when people come into and out of a child's life. The last thing she needs is to feel bad about her self and be spanked. I would try to use more positive reinforcement than negative with her. Give her a treat, like some kool-aid, candy, cookies, or a toy right after she does go potty. I would not yell at her or hit if she does have an accident, but talk to her and explain to her that big girls go in the potty and alot of other talking.
As for her mother, do you keep alot of pictures around for her daughter to see? I would try to get a video of her to play or some kind of sound recorder. Those trips will be very hard on everyone, but what happened with her mom is something the mother needs to see. Her mother needs to see how all of this is affecting her child. Hopefully this will help her stay out of jail when she finally gets out and give her a reason to stay clean. As for the daughter, try to make it easier on her, speak happily about going on the visits, take her out for ice cream after wards as some type of reward. Try not to cry around her, kids can sense the mood around them. Kids say a lot of things they don't mean just to get attention she doesn't hate her mother, she is just mad that she's not getting what she wants and she doesn't understand. Definately keep talking to her and let her know how much everyone loves her. Good luck |