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Originally Posted by docmartin  Thank you for this valuable help once again. Over the years, I'm now approaching 70, I've known quite a few Yorkies, indeed I used to look after my late neighbours little girl for up to two weeks at a time. Specifically lets take my stepdaughter's pair, a mum and daughter duo, aged 28 and 12 months. Their very different as characters, that said, both never leave you alone in a room and cry at the door if denied access, especially when their mum is away. If I'm on the computer, they insist on snuggling into my lap, effectively preventing my use of it, by forcing their attention upon me and their an absolute delight to be with.
Today, "Crystal's'" returned to my wife's bed, once more on lone sentinel duty. She played for about 40 mins this morning and I keep popping in and giving her little pieces of boiled chicken and bits of my (and now her) favourite biscuits. This 'guardian' watch scenario, has only materialised in the last week or so. Prior to that, if one of us wasn't here, she'd automatically be with the other. Does she now see this place as her 'natural' den or nest and prefers that over my company? My wife shut her door when she left this morning, but following serious crying and scrabbling I let her in, where she now resides as usual head down with the Yorkie hang dog look on. Please, understand we're both worried and upset about this from her angle, are we selfishly causing her angst and stress? Whilst she's still a young dog would she be happier with a lone keeper (she was with an older lady before)? We're also worried that when my wife travels to see her daughter in Russia in a few months time, for a 3 week stay, she will become really confused and suffer even more?
Happy days... |
You sound like a true doglover and may be expecting too much too soon since other dogs haven't behaved this way. It could be as simple as something you said or did reminded her of a situation that scared her in the past and she's wanting some space until she can come to trust you again. Probably she's just claiming a space where she feels most comfortable for the time being. Or it could be in her former life, when her person left for the day, she spent her day on the bed of that person and is trying to reconnect to that experience. Maybe she senses you are a bit overly concerned and is trying to work it out as it is said dogs can read our state of mind. The first year I had Tibbe, he would leave the den area of our house and go into the bedroom at times when he heard certain sounds coming from the surround-sound system, such as a doorbell on TV or some high-frequency sounds such as the sound of a circle-saw coming from a neighbor's garage. In time that completely stopped unless he is feeling ill - then he can revert right back to that old fear and go to the bedroom. He isn't trying to get away from me - just the TV or ambient sounds he didn't like.
Knowing that she is possibly attempting to isolate from you or unsure of something in the rest of the house she is uncertain about - such as some noise or scent that she's farther from in the bedroom, I believe she is one I might continue to work on for a couple of weeks or so simply with walks and with food occasionally during the day when your wife is away, as in her eyes, food is perhaps the most basic currency of love a dog can be shown, in many ways. For the time being I might just patiently wait her out and start her training when she is a little more comfortable being around you when your wife is gone and begins to wander into the room where you spend much of the day on her own. The rest of the time, you might just appear smiling in the bedroom, toss her a treat every so often and leave her, door open, and go about your business. This will slowly desensitize her to your being around her but will only last for seconds and she can soon determine that you aren't going to hurt or yell at her or try to make her leave her sanctuary for now. It also will tell her you have the right at any time to walk into the bedroom so she won't begin to guard that room and eventually growl/bark when you enter.
You could also try this: when she is around you in the rest of the house, you might want to avoid eye contact with her for the time being and take no pains to touch or call her to you or talk to her for now. Just let her sense you as she's in the room and you might wait for her to start to approach you and stick her head under your hand for attention. Letting what may be an unsure dog approach you in their own time and way can be so empowering to them. Once the dog is fully settled in, knows you and is comfortable with the new life, then you can start to assume the roll of the real leader, which at that time will be fine with her. Happy, healthy dogs do love a leader to take care of their basic needs and keep them safe and when they have a strong one, they rarely find the need to try to assume any portion of that roll themselves.
The playing-hard-to-get technique just one school of thought for a dog that is somewhat avoiding us at times. Others say intensify your efforts and work with them playing challenging games, going for fun, energizing walks and getting them into upbeat, short, positive-reward training and bonding sessions x3 daily. But you are the one around her and can quickly sense which way is making her more comfortable and go with whichever works for you and your dog.
Still, more than likely she's just claiming some of her own territory for the time being as a new coping mechanism and this phase could last or could be transient. Only time will tell. But I would continue to walk in and treat her, all the while making your statement that the bedroom is very much yours and you enter whenever you wish and she'll come to love that as for now, she is probably going to get some food in the process.
All of these things we work on the first 6 - 9 months after we get an older puppy or dog we bring home can seem insurmountable and hard to understand at the time but it is amazing how one at a time, eventually 99% these things all have a way of working themselves out and the dog eventually accommodating itself to what we want. Once they begin to trust you and then care for you as a gentle, loving, patient pack leader, they usually begin to work hard to learn what makes you happy and do all those things often. Dogs have mostly all learned that in the end they benefit far more when we are completely happy with them. They are very smart that way.
It sounds as if she has two caring owners and trust a dog to eventually come to understand and know that with more time, despite whatever their past may have been. Given time, your sweet girl will very likely begin to become your laptop "blanket" during the day, rather than staying in another part of the house.