I definitely know what you are going through and it is not stupid. My beloved Keally was the love of my life. I even had a necklace made of her and professional portraits taken of her. My husband and I lived our life around her and she was a special baby. I have tears talking about her but we did lose her at 12 1/2 years old and we were devastated words can not explain the pain. I did meet a wonderful breeder here on YT and she gave me life back in six months after Keally passed.Now Kinder is the love of our life and we have those feelings all over again. It is so hard to lose them but my motto is love them everyday,hug them and treasure them. Enjoy your baby everyday and remember you are a wonderful mom. Susan |