[Teresa Ford]

Part 6 Mommy Melt Down March 22 Animal Hospital, waiting room 7:45 am.

I just watched my old Ruby boy go through the back room door to the pre -op area. The last thing I saw was his blinking beautiful brown eyes and quivering top knot. Rubin whined and gave a final little yip that seemed to say , help me Mama, as the door closed with a final click. I almost burst into tears. I even reached out to him as I swallowed a big lump in my throat. I pressed a hand to my rolling belly and leaned against the counter, I picked up the empty zebra carry bag and blinked hard. Deb handed me a tissue. She said sympathetically, "Dr. B will be with him the whole time."
Polly or was it Molly, stroked my arm and exchanged a sad look with her sister and said gently, " It is the kindest thing..." I looked at her through tears and stuttered, "Wha...what do you mean ?" Deb burst out laughing and quickly reassured the three women, "Oh no ! He is not being put to sleep. Rubin will be fine, he is just having a routine dental." Pollly took her hand off my arm and took a step back. She exchanged talking looks with her sister. I could see their minds batting possible answers back and forth. They searched for logical reasons, for why I would be so worried. I actually saw Molly or was it Pollly, find an answer that was acceptable. New patient and or first dental. After a few seconds of psychic communication the other sister offered me comforting words." Really you can trust Dr. B. she is a very good doctor, we have been with her for years and years." Then the other sister nodded and added, " we have three Bully girls and they all get dentals."
The back room door opened and Sue said, "Good morning Carol, is Mia ready ? " We all looked at Carol. She was clutching Mia to her chest and could barely stand up, like her knees were weak. She kissed Mia and taking a deep noisy breath, she finally handed Mia to Sue.
We all rally round Carol as tears roll down her cheeks. Deb calmly hand her a tissue and says, "Dr. B will be with her the whole time, she will be fine." I turn to Deb and she soothes me too, "Ms. Teresa I will call you like I always do, as soon as Rubin is done, and again when you can pick him up." I reply softly, "Thanks." I slip out the door before the sisters realize, I have been with Doctor B for years and years.
I want to go home, where I an cry and worry in privacy. When I get to the car, I sit there for a few minuets and sip the too hot tea. Saying one more prayer then I start the car. As I leave, the eight o'clock appointments start to arrive. I think, Poor Deb she is going to have a long day. I drive on auto pilot as my mind starts to settle into that numb state, that happens to me after stress.
Four Yorkies bark in greeting. Everyone sniffs the empty carry bag and Grace climbs in it and lays down. I swear her look is reproachful, like she is asking, where is Rubin. DH comes into the living room and says, "Eat something and take your meds." I nod and he ambles into the kitchen. Oddly the dogs don't follow him into their favorite room, but pile around me on the sofa. Ginny presses against my side, not begging for breakfast at all. Abba climbs on the back of the sofa and gives me ear and chin kisses. Julia Rose brings me toy. Gracie give one final sniff to the zebra bag, then climbs up in my lap. DH makes Yorkie food and me toast but, nobody goes to check it out. OMG that is Yorkie Love ! Comfort Cuddles before food. I get all teary, as we settle down to wait. I absently nibble the toast and swallow the pills DH hands me. I hope they call soon. It is already 8:30 !