[rubynrosie]

My two cents...advice is just that advice...I think every one who has responded to this thread has done so because they have gotten to know you Carmen and only want the best for you. We don't want to see you hurt or go through the mistakes we have. However with that being said I think we all realize that if we hadn't gone through our own life events we very well wouldn't be the person we are today...do I wish I had done things differently...ya I suppose...who raises their hand and is proud that they spent 8 years w a cheater or a year with a control freak and yep if i had a chance to do it again id do the same darn thing but I also know had I not gone through those experiences I wouldn't be w the guy I am w today! Is he perfect...heck no...are there things that annoy me heck yes..I can't stand that he doesn't hang his coat up or he let's his kids just leave their boots and coats were they took them off. But...I also adore how he loves my "kids" (3 dogs, 4 cats) because they are a part of me. I love how he will put on his snowpants and in 20 degree weather change the oil in my car cuz he worries about me driving so much. I love how he is willing to cook and make what I want for dinner...and when I get migraines...he gives the best head rubs...sometimes I feel like I am giving 70% and he is giving 30% and other days I know its just the opposite. I vent to my friends and when im venting im usually saying the worst about him. Honestly Carmen. I think you need to look within yourself and truthfully determine what you will accept and what you wont accept. I don't think you are making excuses for him if its something you will be ok with. However if you keep changing your expectations and you remain unhappy then I would say you are making excuses. I will say people can change, but reality shows the majority don't. Watch to make sure his actions are following his words. Only you can decide to stay or leave. I would suggest couples therapy or even individual therapy for yourself. There's a book called Co-dependent No More: stop controlling other and start taking care of yourself...its a great read if you like to read. Good Luck. Carmen you are an amazing person and I know whatever decision you make is going to be the right decision for that time and place in your life.